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Not to be rude, but you are setting your standards of what you expect WAY too high.
She's there 12 hrs a week. That's time enough for a 'quick clean' and change of sheets and washing MIL's laundry. She does not need to be doing jobs for YOU.
My client would ask me to do thingd 'for the family' and IF and only IF we had accomplished all her personal tasks would I step in a do a load of dishes or something similar for the family.
In order to keep a room 'sparkling' you'd have to be on top of it daily, not just a few hours.
If she is getting along with a difficult MIL , then consider yourself LUCKY!
My PSW is there from 12pm-4pm, 3 days a week. We like to encourage my MIL to get up at noon, but lately it’s not until 2:30 - 3. The PSW’s responsibilities are companionship, fixing my MIL her breakfast, changing her sheets, washing her clothes, and keeping MIL’s room clean. Since she’s been getting up so late, my PSW has been spending a lot of time on her phone.
I never ASK her to put away my dishes, mop the floor, do anything beyond look after my MIL. I made it clear it’s MIL and her space that is the focus, not my house. By ‘sparkling’ (HAD YOU ASKED) I’d have clarified that meant vacuumed once a week, and dusted once a week. That’s sparkling in my books. I’m sorry…standards too high?
Please don’t jump to conclusions with what limited information you have. You can’t possibly know everything, but all of us are in the same boat when answering a question. We can’t possibly put every bit of info into a response. Who would want to read that anyway? But there are lots of people on here who try to be helpful and don’t automatically assume the worst of people.
This goes to you too, JoAnn…
Cleaning for an aide is considered light cleaning, meaning dusting and running a sweeper. She is only there 12 hrs a week. So, if she makes Moms bed, straightens up her room, dusts and vacuums thats all she has to do. If there is a bathroom involved, can clean that too. Not sure if she is required to scrub it just clean up after the client. You are still responsible for any deep cleaning.
I worked with Visiting Nurses. We had a client who was practically bed ridden. His wife had to work and there were a couple of children. The wife complained to me that the aide the State provided didn't do a thing. She didn't wash clothes or wash dishes left "by the family". I asked my boss about that. She told me that the aide was for the client, not the wife. If dishes were family dishes, she was under no obligation to wash them or the families clothes. She was obligated in cleaning up after the client and herself if preparing him a meal. She was under no obligation to clean, because the wife was there and could do the cleaning and washing of her own dishes. The aide was there for the client. She was responsible for his laundry, changing of his bed. Keeping his area clean. If he was alone, then light housekeeping.
There are two types of aides. One is a Certified Nurses Aide (CNA) that their primary job is the physical care of their client. Then theres a Home Health Aide (HHA) that does more of light house cleaning, grocery shopping, taking the client to appts, etc. They do some hands on but the client usually only needs a minimum of help.
So, yes, I think I know what you’re talking about. However, we’ve been through a few awesome cleaners, but didn’t interact with my MIL at all, so that wasn’t great. This seems to be the best compromise, but she’s pregnant, so we’ll need a new one in a few months.
For us, we’re putting up with it (and I’m not leaving laundry out anymore for it to be “folded”). I guess you have to decide if whatever they’re doing is worth putting up with.
I do want to say something about being paid what they are worth. I have worked lots of jobs. No matter what I was paid, I did what was expected of me and did a good job. If you are an aide and not doing your job because of your pay, then don't be an aide. If being paid privately, then don't except a job that doesn't pay enough. If you work for an agency, your pay is between u and the agency not the client.
put up with
less than desirable
quality of care and
The situation could range from an otherwise excellent caregiver's being got up like a spring parade, wearing scent you can't stand and having an unfortunate laugh; to your being too terrified to fire a patently negligent, possibly dishonest and occasionally unreliable person who is abusing a position of trust because your mother enjoys gossiping with her or your father has a bit of a crush.
Very few caregivers are practically perfect in every way. What are the issues you feel need something doing about?
Who's the drama queen? The caregiver?
I'm assuming that your parent is tolerant and accepting of this particular caregiver, but you're not?
More information, including specific instances of undesirability, would help with answers.