I waver between believing desperately in a force for Good and Kindness and Parity in this world and total Atheism.
Those who are "legitimately/ specifically" religious DO NOT READ FURTHER!
GOD is NOT easing my burdens, making a place for me at "HIS TABLE" I have no use for be-jeweled crowns, or arranged seating charts by burdens and goodness.
No GOD is taking my part or my place, Jesus is not cleaning grandpas urinals, or wiping feces off the walls. Mohamed is not standing between me and grandpas disgusting leering glances. Buddha is no where when I twitch,stressed out trying to sleep. Yahweh, Jehovah, RA, Zeus and the Prophet Moroni are NOT walking my steps with me and doing the work or soothing the aches of mind and body. I have prayed, begged, hoped, wished, VISUALIZED, pay'd it forward, meditated on it, slept on it and yearned for years of nothing but the same BS. IF I believed in a GOD of endless, repetitious misery, I would be an enigma in that I would have actual proof "of".
I am bigoted against religion because I think it makes people not think for them selves, like there is any thing wrong with that.
I am sorry if I hurt you but I meant to, see, bitter mean nasty. I have been angry and snappish for along time. I don't want to be I don't know. I can't see myself as a accepting happy loving person, I care but i keep my distance. People have been very unkind to me in my life, the ones who were not stand out it profound relief, now I bring it on myself most of the time.
I am angry and resentful that some people seem to have good lives, came from loving families where they were cared for and respected not abused and humiliated.
I do understand your idea that not so much that is is all good but that it is "OK" so to speak, That all things in life can I don't know that death isn't terrible and that there will be peace and understanding.
But like the Jewish people after the holocaust I can put God on trial and find a great deal to be resentful for.
I do not find it easy to come to terms with "loving god" and so much cruelty and suffering in the world. and I do not do devils. It would be easier to think there is no god and it is all biology and society and selfish hateful men but I need to believe there is god somewhere and that there will be justice and peace at the end. What an awful feeling that there is nothing and it is all just here and then just dead, dirt, no soul going on..
There are people who have had worse than me and are better people than me. I don't want to be a bad person but I think I just am.
I did not intend my response to be "religious BS" "jargon" or in any way judgemental or harassing. I thought I had heard your cry, understood your anger and resentment, and taken the philosophical argument to its logical conclusion. I'm not condemning your thoughts, just exploring them ... where do they lead? Is it where you wanted to go?
Also, I did not reject or denegrate your opinion of many religious people. I've seen the same attitudes and can clearly see and hear why you feel that way. I'm not harranging you, castigating you, or trying to hurt you, I know you are dealing with a very difficult situation, and sometimes the only vent available is to blame others - but I didn't do those things you've laid at my feet, and neither did God. Should people judge who you are by looking at how your grandfather treats you? People let you down - they always will. People aren't perfect.
You asked me specifically if "my God" would be responsible for your life if you believed in Him. That's a funny question. You see, I believe "my God" is sovereign. I believe He is in control, even when it hurts, even when I can't see Him, even when a baby dies. I believe "my God" allows me the freedom of free-will. Lots of times I don't understand it, and the pain is hard to bear, and man oh man ... do I hear you! I want to beg and plead and cry out, "WHERE ARE YOU?" But I've explored the depths ... and I KNOW "my God" is Just. I'm not preaching to you, or trying to make you believe in "my God" ... just answering your question as best as I can.
Be easy - lets drop the stereotyped "religious bigot" speech, and try to really see who we both are. I think I see you, and I recognize the hurt and anger. I'm not trying to rain on your pity party, just humming a little counterpoint to spice it up. ;>
"It's all fun and games until someone gets hurt!"
I am listening to Penn and Teller Bullshit..It helps.
I am a skeptic. I don't need the religion BS I just don't but no reason to harangue people who do. GOD why argue its "god and faith and ideas" why do I do this.
I read your post, and I spent some time thinking about what you said … not just the words but the ideas, hurt, anger and pain, and all of the rest behind it. I am not responding in defense of God – He doesn’t need me to “defend” His existence. I am also not responding to offer you platitudes or empty encouragement. I hope that I am honestly and with all respect, providing you with more to think about in your life’s journey, and maybe, just “maybe” something more.
By your own words, you deny that there is a creator, a sovereign entity that is ultimately in control of your life. Then by your own admission the only person to blame is … you. By rejecting any other valid argument, you set yourself up as the ultimate cause. That means you are where you are today because of your own decisions. Since you are in charge of your life, you have no one else to blame.
You have conveniently chosen atheism … which is a belief system which requires just as much faith in its precepts as any other religion. So, by your own words you are just lazy, insignificant, and worthless. If you cannot accept that you were created by God, an incredible creation by design, chosen, or put here for a reason ... then your existence, your life, everything you are going through since you were born is meaningless.
I am looking earnestly at the abyss you accept as your reality. You are striking out at people who have in your opinion, offered you empty promises, lied to you, or did not live up to the expectations you placed on them. You reject the existence of “something more than this” because you cannot see God at work in their lives. As you focus more and more intently on your own hurts, woes, struggles and heartaches, you are more and more convinced that there is simply no hope, no way out. They are no better off than you, unless they by random chance chose better than you did. Every single one of us will face struggles, heartache, and loss. Every one of us faces the final countdown – death.
If I believed that, accepted that, I would see no reason to keep trying. My faith in God doesn’t solve all my problems. It doesn’t make me rich, or successful – I am not better or somehow more worthy than you … I’m just another sinner, another beggar in this world who is willing to share my crust of bread … but I know where my hope is, and where it's not. It’s not in myself.
Where is your hope found? Instead of looking down or inward … look up. There is something about turning our focus outside of our own selves that helps to bring everything else into perspective.
On their album “For Those Who Wait,” FireFlight says it better:
When you’re fighting to believe in a love that you can’t see
Just know there is a purpose
For those who wait
God, I’m gonna lean into You now
Letting go of all my fear and doubt
I can’t do this on my own so I’ll give You control
I know I’m not the only one
The pressure makes us stronger
The struggle makes us hunger
The hard lessons make the difference
And the difference makes it worth it
p.s. I seriously recommend a book by Lee Strobel, a former athiest, "The Case for Christ" - it is his invesigative journey, and well worth the read.
love only in word but not in truth and in action is hate
beam me out of here!
But it is comforting to me to be able to talk to someone bigger than myself and to receive strength for the day. Not tomorrow or next week but the day at hand. I go it one day at a time. That doesn't change the frustrations of the day whatever they may be but it softens it. I always told my kids when they would complain, "life is hard and it is hard all the way through it". I find I tell myself that at least twice a day now. P.S. I also get frustrated when people tell me they are praying for me. Prayers are nice but put some feet and hands to those prayers, please.
Why he isn't a home? he doesn't want to go to one, feels he is entitled to be care for as "He looked after us." which he didn't and the money he has is there because my grandmother was a hard working penny pinching book keeper who saved and invested for 60 + years.
I am here because I am broke and a coward and unwilling to stand up for myself I guess. One of those people beaten down by life. Still it is my choice and my responsibility to change my life. But it won't always be so...things are slowly moving. But it will have to be me that moves it, as my mothers denial is so think and so deep as to be immovable to all but an explosion or total destruction.
I was saying religious people say god already has a plan for each person, but then when the going gets rough they pray to him to change it to suit there emotional wants. I don't get that at all. Which actually do they believe in? So that is why I feel what would be the gift from a god is this life and our ability to make decisions. And to better things from the experience of decisions that did not work out so well. To think, to decide, to calculate, that is what I believe we were given and to do the best we can. I think hell is the time I spend wishing I could change what I did wrong. Your grandpa's dementia is far greater than my mom's 1 stage of Alzheimer's. They do things that are not them. It is very hard for us to separate it because the physical and mental demands on you is so great. Too much for a person. If he has the money why are you taking care of him???? I will not take care of my mom. I have been, but I will not continue. I will make sure she is in a good place. And I will visit and look after her. I don't deserve her hardship (she has always be rather selfish) on me, and my children do not deserve it from me. Though I have been a far better mom to them and they appreciate it!
Put your foot down. You are not the designated slave caregiver here. Give him right back to your mom. Have a walk out date for her and make her come to grips with this. This is where I am saying you have a choice. Whether god given or not you do not do this to yourself. You control what you do, what you say, think, decide how to view things, etc. This is why I don't pray for things. I have already been given all of the above mentioned. I am not going to whine to god he must do something for me when I already have my mind and life and nobody controls me. I will find a way to get it all to work.
Please gather the strength to love yourself enough to put yourself first.
Good luck. Maybe we can all get away from the god subject, and find a way for you to get your life back and give grandpa a place to receive the care he needs. Give us some new questions and I will help where I can.
I don't believe in god "the great he" or the concept of "The Plan" I really don't One could just as likely argue isn't it rude to assume god has a plan for us and to make no effort in life I guess. Then you say we have the ability to help our selves, I am not sure which it is that you are saying is correct then pre-ordained life as set pattern or free will makes the life?
Thank you for your input though.
That to me is the gift from god. Praying for change, would that not be asking a deity to change their mind or plan as so many religions say "he has a plan"? So then we would be praying for he/she to change their plan to suit us and our situation. We have the ability to choose directions and help ourselves. Silly to push onto to god to tell us what to do when he already gave us the ability to do so.
Is your grandpa not able to be on medicaid and in a nursing home? You could visit him there. Please take care of yourself!! You can't do this alone nor should anyone or any religious feeling make you think you should.
I think truly, some choices open up ones life, I imagine, while some might narrow ones options. I have often though drug addiction would be the sort of choice where once you made it all other decisions to come would be made by the drug from then on. Or breaking the law, that will limit your options, yet who knows it may open some possibilities and put one in touch with people one would not have met before and a bad thing could become a good thing.
I do feel totally alone in this. Not scared just alone like it doesn't matter what happens and it just doesn't matter...maybe I need a strong dose of anti-depressants I don't know.
I don't know, but for many people there is more comfort in the belief that they DO KNOW that and every one else is wrong. but that is politics.
I don't know, just here, going along doing what is needed, there is nothing else to do, or I choose to do this. I do, I could just walk away and go to a homeless shelter, but I choose to be here to help my mother and grandfather and when it is over I will be grateful and start looking for a job and just move on from this section of my life. Thank you for your help.
I agree there is plenty we can't control in life but so much more we can. not life and death matters so much as day to day and what tasks and goals we set for ourselves, life doesn't usually just fall into ones lap.
I am not sure I am looking for a higher power. I know i would like to be rich to make this physical world a bit easier but I don't feel god would either care for me personally or need to bother, if god exited at all. i don't know. I don't feel any one is "looking after me" but my mother and to some degree the society in which I live (no I am not on disability). I mean figuratively the rights and rules by which we live and the infrastructure of the city I live in. I know I am better off than 3/4 of the world on a purely day to day physical basis..Though I was not on a roof top in New Orleans either...those rights and rules and infrastructure of our daily lives can be devastated by a major whether phenomenon pretty fast! Then I guess ones higher power is FEMA god help you...
Seriously weird post now eh?
This is just my opinion.
I think religion has done as much harm if not more than good in this world, but people seem to like hate and killing so much I suppose they would choose to did it any way even if not in "defense of the faith" or "because god told them to".
It is interesting in that is is culture and historical and human, but I just don't believe any of religions precepts and pronouncements whether for the here and now or the here after. Nor the biased smug assertions of the righteous that they alone are the knowledgeable conduit to god.
I have very religious relative including a born again christian brother who molested me, and then said what we had done was a sin and said he needed me to forgive him...Then it happened again...So I guess part of my disdain for religion in general is profoundly personal, but then so is religion.
If it makes people feel better and be better people and they feel complete in their world and beyond views, so be it, nothing wrong with that, life can be hard,and what helps you helps you, but it doesn't mean it is true. Most of the angry people on this post would take great um-bridge to that statement, but they would be just as unwilling to allow that a devout muslim or a conservative/orthodox jew has it "right". The old, "They can't all be right argument", hell, why not, every one is right, every one is wrong doesn't change anything to me, till I or another innocent victim are personally under the gun of the god person making a statement by killing people they don't like for their god that week.If you know what I mean...
That I am sure would bother some people, but the view such as..say: the miners in Chile' who have been found alive and well and may live to see their loved ones again, will be called a "miracle" and be said "god was looking out for them." so I guess god was not looking out for the miners in the last US mine disaster because they died? It certainly gives the view that to be alive is preferable to being dead, but gives little comfort to the family of the men killed. It is vacuous, why would god want one set of miners dead the other alive? I don't see anything but human thinking in this, and yes, I can conceptualize that "god's actions and reasoning" would very likely be over my head. tho the concept that things simply happen in life makes sense.
Maybe I am just too negative. I suppose, one could use their religion to try to put a positive spin on everything. ie: Nothing can be bad, because it is all gods will. ,Even when terrible things happen, of course then one is told both it is the will of god what happened and that one must not be pissed off at god about it after wards. I guess I am a pessimist, I would rather think it is not god will and reserve the right to be angry that god let it happen any way. I am not a Sagittarius. Maybe the ones most angry have really good lives and don't come across a lot of misery and so feel grateful more often than bitter and like to feel god is on their side personally. That is certainly flattering to ones ego and grist for the feeling that They are god chosen people and others suffer out of punishment. Granted it is probably more comfortable than feeling one is on ones own, but I still choose the vapors. I have to think, I need sense and fact and reason and simplistic story book answers and trite catch all phrases will not work in my life. Maybe that is unfortunate, but it is what it is, who I am and what I choose. Lucky I can choose it, in some nations of this world, religions sway is all encompassing and could get one shot, or stoned to death for any divergence from the majority. For this, I am indeed grateful I live in the USA among other things.
Any how, many people have expressed their views religiously and politically, Why should I be slammed for doing the same. Every one is entitled to their opinion, right. Maybe mine is less common here and in general society and people would rather talk about god looking after them and their loved ones than here, I don't believe that myself but have a nice day?
Thanks for your post. Although a recovering Catholic (I don't mean drugs), I have always oriented my heart towards the Good in order to achieve Justice for everyone. Instead of praying for people, I advocate and teach them strategies so they can alleviate their suffering, improve their lot, and take personal responsibility for their own lives. For me to say, for instance, that someone's misery has been pre-ordained or that what's important is the saving the soul is essentially communicating to the individual that he/she is weak, has no control, and that the best course of action during tough situations is to go with the flow because the final outcome is not up to them anyway. ... Horsehockey! ... In my book, only dead fish go with the flow.
I consider organized religions a powerful tool for social control, a formula for so-called "clean" living in which using your own brain to build or strengthen our faith is considered heresy. Still, I believe we're all spiritual beings having a human experience, and therefore life is a constant learning process. My concept of "faith" is hope -- that things will get better if we earnestly strive to transcend the limits of our own humanity by learning to do something with all this "awareness" we claim to possess, and to see people and things for what they really are instead of what we would like them to be.
As the resilient caregivers that we are, we must not allow someone else's perception of us become our reality. ... We're constantly searching for a source of strength other than our own. To some, belief in a Higher Power is all that they need. To others religion is another hiding place. To most that extra strength must be culled from a multitude of sources. We have no choice but to take what we want to get what we really need, even if it offends someone else's religious sensibilities.
Do not apologize for the way you feel. ... We understand.