They don't know me and they don't know what I have to go through,Everyone here on this board knows, we have to shower our mother or (father in my case )and put med's in places that we would really not like to touch let alone look at. Clean up urine, and poop anywhere and everywhere. Be home bound so that medicare will pay for services,take them to dr's appointments, not be able to go anywhere without finding someone to take care of them for a few hours or having to take them with you that means getting them in and out of the house and a car.
Let alone making different meals because they want to eat later or earlier.
The extra washing of clothes and towels ect...The no time to yourself or with your husband or wife. So I am missing something here what is it that we don't appreciate again. I just want to say to them walk a mile in my shoes then you have the right to tell me to appreciate what I have.
"Always forgive your enemies; nothing annoys them so much."
~ Oscar Wilde
Neither one has acknowledged mom in 2 years(as well as no contact from their children) Now I am faced with What to do? Mom is still holding on barely. Its down to a hour to hour watch. Part of me feels I should contact them. But I am risking a fight in front of mom. That is the last thing mother needs on her deathbed. Really the other part of me feels they will find out when everyone else does. Mom and I prearranged funeral details sometime ago. If they show up or not it doesn't matter. I can't even imagine the nightmare that lies around the corner. Its all about "what do I get" with them. I swear, that if they show up and stand at the casket and put on a show for others I am going to lose it. This anger is more for mom, not being worth their time than my own emotion, (if that makes sense). I am so protective over mom and they have hurt her emotionally until she forgot about them. I will be damned if they are going to make a mockery of her funeral.
When my father died, my sister made several hundreds of dollars from it. Ones would hand her monetary gifts since she is the eldest child, and she pocketed it instead of giving it to our mother. But mom knew and it devastated her.
Sorry to ramble on.... I have gotten over the shock that it is now moms time and left it in Gods hands. But, I am having feelings that I thought was buried. Anger towards my worthless sibs, each day I can feel it building towards eruption!! At this time, I am not able to open my arms and welcome them in. I know its wrong but hey I am not perfect.
But we wouldn't want to wish that upon anyone and so my suggestion is for you to keep doing exactly what you are doing by interacting with care giver support participants and share (via writing) your experiences.
B.Miner FL