My question is this. What will be required of me if my dad moves into a memory care unit and an AL facility? Is a family member required to "assist" dad in any way while they are in an AL facility? Can I can go away for weeks at a time without worrying dad isn't getting his essentials in an AL facility?
I've been setting up and ordering his medications for the past 2 years. I've also been taking him to appointments. Will I still be required to do these types of things if he moves into an AL?
Thanks for any responses
In AL there should be an Aide that will provide the help he needs.
They should also be monitoring as he declines and requires more help. (this will come with increased fees)
In Memory Care the Staff ratio is such that he should also get help and there is more staff to assist but they do have quite a few people that they help.
Meds will be handled by the facility. (although some AL will allow residents to keep meds and self administer if they are kept locked. Check with the facility keeping your dad's cognition in mind. )
I would speak directly with the facility as they are all different.
However, there is an insurance/HMO for 'homebound' clients, where they get regular visits, lab, simple xray, and physical therapy on site. They also have a contracted pharmacy which costs extra -mom has a regular HMO and this is considered an outside pharmacy. If you use their pharmacy (PharMerica), the facility will do the ordering: they have most but not all of the OTC meds too.
The MC will put him on their med administration program and in my mom's case, all the meds were ordered by the doc there and sent directly to the nurse. Set dad up with the staff doctor and other professionals so you don't have to schlep him to appointments off site.
Even with the covid lockdowns that occurred for a full year, I would still visit mom weekly for a window visit. She'd sit in the library on the phone and I'd be outside speaking to her from my cell. At least I got to lay eyes on her and track her decline during that awful year.
If you want to go away for extended periods of time, I recommend you find someone to go see dad while you're gone.
Best of luck to you
It's sad to say but I feel like a dump job is being placed on me by having him move into an AL near me. I will express my concerns once again stating if my siblings want him in a "nice place" maybe they should be looking for an AL facility closer to them.
The assisted living or memory care will most likely want you to furnish his room - you can just take the furniture from his apartment, which will be good for him, as he'll recognize those things as his. He will need his clothes, but maybe not as many as he has now. For instance, not as many dress up outfits, unless he dresses up on daily basis. They will do his laundry. Depending on the size of the facility, you may need to label his clothes. He'll need his own bedding, probably 3 sets, toiletries, photos or art for his walls, etc. There will be a nurse who handles the medications and they will check with his doctor about all that and they usually have a pharmacy they use, so you won't have to do that any longer. He won't have medication in his room or have to remember when to take them himself.
Funny that your siblings think you wouldn't find him a "nice" place. Tell them to come help you find one.
The problem is they live 2 hours away and their "nice place" is 3 miles from me so guess who would be the one still taking care of him? I think a "nice place" would be 3 miles from where they live.
My Moms AL did not allow any medication in the room. It was required that the RN was responsible for prescriptions. Mom went in with what she had. When they were gone, I got new prescriptions and gave them to the RN. She sent them to the pharmacy they used. Moms Medicare and prescription card were used for payment. All OTC had to be ordered thru the pharmacy which cost Mom more money because I got her OTC on sale. The RN handled call to Moms Dr if felt there needed to be a change in her Meds. Residents used their own doctors.
The Meds will be given to Dad by a Medtech. All meds are kept with the Medtech or Nurse. Most ALs can supply transportation to Dr visits and shopping. You may want to ask though, in the instance of Dr visits, does someone stay with Dad or is he left off and the bus comes back later? I chose to take my Mom because of her Dementia.
I would say that as long as you stock Dad up on the things the AL does not supply, you can go on vacation as long as you want.
I try to tell them why don't they move him closer to them if they want him in a "nice" place. My sister is retiring this year and my brother's retiring next year. I'm keeping him in his place while working 40 hours a week. I'm getting kinda tired of this and wondered if an AL Would allow me the time I need for myself.
Any and all medications even over the counter meds should be given by the assigned staff and each medication given should be recorded properly. You should not even give dad an aspirin, Tylenol without the facility being aware. (might interfere with meds given later)
You can continue to take dad to the doctor. Or if you wish the facility doctor can take over his general care. (many facilities will have transportation so if the doctor is local they may bring him, you can meet them and then the transport would return him to AL. There may be an added fee for this)
You can go away for weeks. You can still worry that his needs are not being met but it is unnecessary worry.
And it is possible that things will not be done the exact way you do them.
It is possible that some things may be missed.
But dad will be safe, he will have help when he needs it and you will be able to be a daughter not a caregiver.
Do expect dad to decline a bit
Almost any move can cause a decline.
Do expect him to be unhappy
That is to be expected when there is a big change.
Do expect him to want to "go home"
Reassure him that he is safe, that you love him and tell him he is home.
then give him a hug and a kiss.
It was also my experience that it took several weeks for all the "kinks" to get worked out--medications ordered in a timely fashion, given at the correct time, staff getting to know the new resident's preferences and limitations.
We discovered almost immediately that my mom, post stroke, did not remember that she had a wrist band call button that she could push to summon help. She fell within an hour on entering the regular AL portion of the facility and simply lay there. Fortunately, the facility had arranged for someone to check on her every hour that first day, so they found her almost immediately.
We transferred her to the MC section; she was still unable to recall that she needed to call for assistance and we hired a private aide to be with her at all times.
She fell in MC a few nights later with TWO aides in the room. She broke her hip, leading to NH placement.