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We pay an astonishing amount of money every month for our parents’ two apartments in an assisted living facility in Dallas. It is over $20,000 for the two of them per month.


I have a full-time job, usually working well over 12 hours per day. I spend a lot of time beyond those hours purchasing and delivering supplies for my mom and dad that I feel the assisted-living should be procuring. Sheets, towels (they keep getting lost by the facility laundry), continence products, toilet paper, tissues, OTC medicines, laundry products, food, Ensure, personal care products, toothpaste, razor blades, catheters, bandaids, gloves, wipes, masks, cleaning supplies, managing their medications, contacting doctors and pharmacies for refills, the list goes on and on and on.


This is nearly a second full-time job for me. I constantly ask myself what the other residents are doing for these things. Many of these residents do not have families in town. Obviously, they are all elderly and are not doing these things by themselves.


Am I being taken advantage of by the facility? Are these not things that the facility should be procuring?


What is the norm, and what should I expect? Thanks for any advice.

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My mom is in Memory Care. I provide incontinence products, wipes, toilet paper, kleenex, shampoo, hand soap, bathsoap toothpaste, toothbrush, hair dryer, hand lotion. When she moved in we provided towels and a couple of changes of sheets. And of course her bed/blankets ,recliner nightstand, bookcase etc.
Anything you would need just like a regular apartment. I also provide some of the special snacks she likes she to keep in her room(dove chocolate!).
Since she is Memory Care, they email me when she's getting low on something.
For the AL and IL folks, pre covid they had regular runs to the local grocery and pharmacy with van transport.
I think alot if them now are doing delivery.
At moms place there is one base price (the rent ) and then another $ amount added to it depending on how much help you need with ADLs.
The rent portion includes the room, laundry service, housekeeping, meals, WiFi, Basic Cable, snacks and drinks. And of course 24 hr security and supervision and onsite activities, and after covid issues would also include van transportation within a limited distance to shop and medical appointments, and other activities.

Its expensive but worth it. Saved my sanity
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I think that you are being taken advantage of. I didn't have to provide any household items and I raised a stink if they "lost" personal clothing.

I would be looking for a different facility and I would be turning them in for the theft of items that you have provided.
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Look at the contract and see what they're supposed to supply. My mother's MC makes me bring her shampoo, but that's about it. Her incontinence products are covered, but I have to pay $500/month extra for that because it includes the assistance as well. It's just a high level of care overall with the incontinence.

If they have housekeeping services, I'd certainly expect them to provide toilet paper and Kleenex, plus their own cleaning supplies. Sheets and towels, if they're done by their laundry service, should be theirs, too.

Exactly what ARE you paying for is what I'd ask. You might as well get an apartment than pay that kind of money then be nickel and dimed to death over the small stuff.
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Isthisrealyreal Sep 2020
Exactly, you can hire full time caregivers for this kind of money.
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Most of the supplies you mention are the residents responsibilty. Bedding, towels, TP, and items used to clean the room should all be the facility's responsibilty. Personal care items are on the residents. Meals should be provided except for snacks that the resident may want. Some places will have fruit and some sandwiches available.

Many faciliities in Ohio have shared rooms for a husband and wife where there is no extra charge. It's the same as a single person living there. You might check around in the Dallas area.

AL and even MC doesn't provide many of the medical supplies you mentioned. Not until hospice comes on the scene do some of these get covered. Even then some of it is still the residents responsibilty.
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