She lost my grandad 2 years ago but is now running the family to the ground. My aunty and uncle go 6 days a week sometimes twice a day take her to appointments shopping etc I myself go 3 times a week and have work and 2 young children yet she calls my aunty and uncle blind, if we dont go on a scheduled day she kicks off that we dont care/love her shes got nothing to live for. If she has a rare day on her own she makes drs appointments and rings us to take her. Shes not housebound but will not go out, refuses to go to elderly gatherings to get her out. Refuses to eat if she doesnt get her way. Today she rang for an ambulance for herself and she is not ill. Its wearing us out and dont know what to do. I hace tried to tell her shes being unreasonable but ended up in her sceaming and crying. She wont help herself so how can we br able to help her :'(
The paramedics didnt take her to the ER Im guessing they knew it was for attention. I go on certain days tuesday thursday and saturday its my poor aunt and uncle that get the brunt of it :-( they need to tell her no but she guilt trips then and my aunty feels its her duty. We thought the threat on a nh would shock her into change .... but no
As for visiting, we took assigned days. We rescheduled her MD visits to fit OUR schedule, because she was also using this to manipulate us.
All this got better when we got her to try Assisted Living. They keep her busy and miraculously the maladies disappeared.
Over her dead body would she go into a home we mentioned wardanated flats but she said no but if she wants 24/7 company thats the only way she'd get it. I feel she wants one of us to have her live with us but no one has the room or really want her living with them. Your right I have a four year old when she has a tantrum I behave how she is and she looks at me and says you look silly mummy, I say just like you .... I'll try that with mama lol
I dont pander to her all the time when she rings on days I dont go I tell her Im busy and cant go round, she just hangs up on me and continues to bother other family members till she gets company :-(
As long as her tactics are working, there's no motivation to change her ways. For comparison, think about how you get a toddler to stop throwing tantrums... you ignore them. No audience, less drama.
Its draining my aunty and uncle and their daughter is concerned for their health, she says they hardly have a hot cooked meal anymore are drained and they are 60 and 63 themselves. I dont understand how mama cant see what shes doing to us but shes only thinking of herself
Well, you ended up not being selfish which is great and that means your mother did a great job in raising you. Your husband advice might be correct and evidently the children are tired of all of this draining on you.
Babalou has given you some good advice.
Shes on antidepressants but I think its the way she is not depression any more. Shes been offered councilling on a few occasions goes once and says they cant help her... she doesnt give them chance! If we ignore her calls she just hounds us even more with calls and voicemails. Its upsetting as my grandad was ill for 20 years and never once complained was in pain every day there isnt anything wrong with mama and behaves like this .... I ask grandad every night to sort her out but the afterlife must be too good lol
She'd rang the dr this morning and because they wouldnt come out Im guessing thats why she called an ambulance. I know it must be aweful to loose your husband of 60 years but as we keep telling her we cant replace him and we are doing our best