Why are they in different facilities??? This packing behavior is par for the course and there's really nothing to be done about it. If they were together in the same place, at least they'd have one another to hang out with and stop thinking someone else was their spouse, right? As the others have said, aggressive behavior isn't okay; contact their PCPs to advise of the agitated behavior to see if a medication change can be made or updated.
I think if it were me, I'd work towards getting them placed together which would cut down your headaches and perhaps keep them in better spirits. There is no way to cut down on the reports from the nursing homes either, as it's their job to report to the POA when there's an issue with the elder. I can't tell you how many calls I took on behalf of my mother when she was in Memory Care; several per DAY at times! When hospice got involved, I'd get two calls a day on the same matter; one from the MC and the other from hospice, each time she fell. There was no getting around it except to let the calls go to voicemail (at least the 2nd call on the same subject).
Find a way to cut down on YOUR workload by checking to see if you can get them placed together, that's my suggestion. When both my folks were alive, that's what I did; I had them living together first in Independent Living, then in Assisted Living in the same apartment.
Twoparents So if I understand what you are writing, the parents are packing to go home. That’s okay. Gives them something to do. Perhaps limit belongings to essentials. Less to pack and unpack. Aggressive behavior not ok. Speak to the medical personnel. Make sure they are in proper level of care. Pace yourself. Limit calls and visits. Allow the facilities to do their job. You mentioned you are eldest daughter. Give some promotions to your siblings so they can join in the fun. Big hugs. You have a tough job.
I think if it were me, I'd work towards getting them placed together which would cut down your headaches and perhaps keep them in better spirits. There is no way to cut down on the reports from the nursing homes either, as it's their job to report to the POA when there's an issue with the elder. I can't tell you how many calls I took on behalf of my mother when she was in Memory Care; several per DAY at times! When hospice got involved, I'd get two calls a day on the same matter; one from the MC and the other from hospice, each time she fell. There was no getting around it except to let the calls go to voicemail (at least the 2nd call on the same subject).
Find a way to cut down on YOUR workload by checking to see if you can get them placed together, that's my suggestion. When both my folks were alive, that's what I did; I had them living together first in Independent Living, then in Assisted Living in the same apartment.
Best of luck!
1. Check for a UTI, and get a culture.
if negative:
2. Geriatric psych doc. visits, and most times, discovers the need for a medication adjustment.
So if I understand what you are writing, the parents are packing to go home. That’s okay. Gives them something to do. Perhaps limit belongings to essentials. Less to pack and unpack.
Aggressive behavior not ok. Speak to the medical personnel. Make sure they are in proper level of care.
Pace yourself. Limit calls and visits. Allow the facilities to do their job. You mentioned you are eldest daughter. Give some promotions to your siblings so they can join in the fun.
Big hugs. You have a tough job.