I know about giving "permission" to die, but although his health is deteriorating he has no terminal diagnosis (other than being 97). I don't know how or when to broach the subject. I don't want him to think I wish he would die, but I want him to know if he's ready it's ok. Also with him being deaf I have to write everything to him and comprehension isn't always there, especially with anything lengthy. Just writing "It's OK to die now." seems a little harsh to say the least. Any suggestions??
Its not a bad idea to say the good stuff that needs said, as Angel suggests. If something happens to take him away suddenly you will have a blessing for that. My dad and I had said the I love yous and I'm proud of yous and meant it, and that was consolation when I could not get back in time for his actual passing, which was due to pneumonia turning into sepsis rather than just clearing up with Rx as usual.
If you have all of those in place, then you could just ask him what he's most proud of in his life. Start asking about his life in general terms. But don't be surprised if he's not very forthcoming. My dad (who was almost deaf at 92) never had much to say about his life, even when asked.
Angel