Worried here. My mother had a severe stroke and she was diagnosed with vascular dementia plus the global major stroke which caused her short term memory and ability to make decisions impossible. Yet my oldest brother decided to appoint himself POA and put all of Mum's money into his own private bank account thereby keeping mum's pension intact. I worry that if anything happens to him (he's 66 and has had bypass surgery) that the money will be lost forever. After Mum's stroke we agreed TWO of us were to be POA, not one but he has "forgotten" that and my other brother and I were not consulted about his decisions. My sister in law is greedy and ignored Mum for 40 years but in the last few months has paid her a lot of attention, that worries me. I feel we need to safeguard the money for Mum, and for all of us re inheritance as I feel it is at risk of abuse and theft. But I can't be too heavy handed to start with as maybe, just maybe my brother is doing all this for noble reasons. He took Mum in against my will (she has wandered off before and gotten lost) but lives in a gated community so she is okay there for now but she will be going into a nursing home very soon. I promised Dad to make sure Mum and the money was safe and I feel I am letting him down but my resources are limited (my brother is very wealthy, I am far from that) so I really don't know where to start to change all this. Please advise, anyone, I would be so grateful.
It sounds like you have no safeguard at all other than the good intentions of your brother and sister-in-law...and unless people from Down Under are WAY different than the rest of us, money and the lure of money have turned siblings into enemies way too many times. And now he's also got the fact that he has been the caregiver to justify his actions, though if I understand correctly it was on his/SIL's watch that Mom wandered off and could have died. You may want to keep your suspicions quiet for the time of your vacation, but beyond that, only if you don't "need" any of that inheritance you were expecting.
In America, POA are public documents in general and you need to see what is in hers..if there isn't one, at this point someone ought to be the equivalent of a guardian, someone will have to be designated as executor (do you have the will or an estate plan document?) and everything should be transparent. Surely brother can't fault you for wanting good legal documentation and wanting to make sure Mom's money is set aside first for her care if anything happens to him. If he objects to that, it's time to "lawyer up," as we say here in the colonies.
Here in US, there are all kinds of governmental agencies to protect elders from financial abuse (any kind of abuse), even from their own children. So likely there is some form of agency there that can help you investigate the situation?
I think I understand more clearly now about what your brother did with mom's money. It wasn't just that he added his name (as POA) to mom's accounts, but he took the money into his own account that does NOT bear your mom's name? Right? Yeah, thats not how its supposed to be done… because of the very things you are concerned about. If something happens to him, its now up to SIL to give you your rightful inheritance. Not good.
Elder attorneys advised me that it is better an individual is POA/guardian, not more than one. So as long as you can do a "gut check" and know that your bro will always have mom's best interest at heart, then leave well enough alone. The fact he took your mom in is a sign of great giving, although he may not even be aware of that himself just yet. Your "greedy" SIL is about to experience what its like to be a live in caregiver… its a lot of work, depending on condition your mom is in. There should always be FINANCIAL RECORDS for you to have access to and review, so don't get all squirmy thinking mom's life savings will somehow disappear into thin air. It doesn't work like that, there will be paper trail. Don't judge too harshly the decisions your bro makes regarding mom's care. I think its very likely he's doing best he can think to do. That's my take. Good luck!
Only you can decide what is appropriate. I have been to h*** and back in my situation and nothing would have been resolved without the APS. And it was my siblings that called to have me investigated! They thought I was taking money, when APS was here I couldn't believe it and wonder what they had conjured up related to emotional or physical abuse. I never even dreamed it was financial. And everything they reported were lies! So, I have been there and back, now siblings are being investigated.
There is no way that your brother would have found it necessary to deposit mom's money to his personal account. Absolutely no reason for it, and if it is found, then he will answer to charges of some type whether it be through APS or when you mother has to go on Medicaid to fund her care. Medicaid will implement a penalty period equal to the amount that was taken from her accounts and it will either need to be repaid to her in the form of paying for her care in a facility or each sibling pay an equal portion. This is covering up for your brother, whether you look at it that way or not.
Have a good vacation, enjoy yourself.