She has to move out of her home. When my mother was redoing her Advance Care Health Directive after my father died she unwittingly put an X in a box that activated my brother's Medical Power of Attorney immediately. This was orchestrated by both of my brothers because they knew she did not want to give up her power yet. Now my mother has to move out of her home into an assisted care living facility. My brothers are considering places that she does not want to go to. She thinks she legally still has the final choice in the matter but now that she has unknowingly activated my brother's Medical Power of Attorney ( my other brother has the financial power of attorney)does my brother have the final say?
Also, if you haven't already, talk to her about her money NOW while she is competent to make decisions. If she owns property, you'll probably want a trust. If she doesn't own property, you can transfer all of her money to one bank with a TOD (transfer on death) assigned. TOD is not the same as beneficiary nor joint ownership.
I speak from experience - when my mother passed away, my brother sold my parents' house, put the money into savings, and Dad moved into an apartment. When my brother passed away and I took over POA and medical POA for my dad, I closed all of my parents' non-bank financial accounts and put the money into the savings account (the total was less than $70k so it made sense to use a savings account and not a trust; also made sense not to keep money in IRA because Dad was ill and needed the money unexpectedly at times). I paid his expenses via bill pay from one bank. When Dad moved to assisted living, he had enough money to afford a nice place. When Dad passed away, I received the money per TOD and divided the total between my siblings and me.
When you’re looking at assisted living, they'll ask you for total savings because that will determine if your mother can afford to live there. Having the money consolidated into one account (or a trust) can help make your life very uncomplicated.
Good luck. I sincerely wish you the very best.
If your mom likes your plan, then encourage her to change who her POAs are and move there. I find their behavior a little suspicious and wonder what they are up to.
Where did she execute this Advanced Directive form - at a hospital? And why can't she execute a new one? It sounds like it might have been a boiler plate form. She has every right to go to an attorney and execute a new one with conditions more favorable to her, especially since she doesn't have dementia.
That would be my first suggestion.
For the brother who is attorney-in-fact under the DPOA, are there any conditions which must be met before he can act, i.e., does she have to have been considered to have dementia? Otherwise, I don't understand why he would be acting on her behalf, and apparently w/o her permission.
Why does she need to move to AL?
And just to clarify, w/o being critical, to the best of my knowledge, there is no such thing as a Medical DPOA. DPOA stands for Durable Power of Attorney and addresses legal and financial issues.
I think I would take her ASAP to your estate planning or elder law attorney to rescind the existing Advanced Directive, and perhaps even the DPOA, then notify the brother(s) by phone followed by certified mail that he's/they have been removed.
There is in my mind a concern of undue influence if not abuse of power for the brothers to be planning to ship her off to a facility of their choice, denying her the right to make her own decisions.
If you have too much trouble with them, you could consider contacting APS to request intervention.
There are some articles and threads here on AC that explain what a POA can and cannot do.
If she has not been declared incompetent by a reliable doctor, then she is free to do as she pleases.