My mother lives independently in her own apartment in Mapleshade, NJ. My brother works on the complex and has an apartment around the corner from her and I would travel out every other weekend...when I would go out I would see small signs of my mother needing more supervision and help in the apartment, with her own care especially...taking medication and her hygiene, but both my mom and brother would make excuses. I have offered on many occasions for my mom to live with me, but she has always refused. Last year my brother and I became estranged due to my moms care and a separate issue involving my late father's estate. I am ashamed to admit that has caused me to not visit as I should have....my brother would threaten me and it upsets my mother. Recently my sister in
law told me in secret that my mom needs more help....she is not taking her medication as she should, eating properly or bathing. My sister in law found her unable to stand up and she had soiled herself on the couch. My brother still finds it ok to leave her alone and unattended. My sister in law also just told me they plan to go camping and will be leaving her alone for 7 days. My mother receives a nice pension between social security and 1199, my brother spends all of it on himself. I don't know what to do....please advise.
I think a good practice for those who won't switch to direct the posit is to temporarily hold payments and put that money into escrow accounts until the recipients switch to direct deposit. This should only be used as a last resort if recipients don't respond to aggressive personal correspondence because yes, checks can be lost in the mail or even stolen. For those who don't feel comfortable giving banking information, you can have a separate account just for the direct deposit to go into. That way, you need not worry about anyone grabbing anything you have in any other account. Social Security will only have the information you give them, and your direct deposit will only go to that account. Direct deposit is actually safer and more secure than paper checks. That way, you need not worry about anyone forging your signature her and cashing your check because it's already in your bank account when it's routed.
You can probably take this as far as gaining guardianship in court if you are willing to. It is going to take time, energy and money. You will not be able to gain those bank account records just by asking for them. In some states even Power of Attorney is not enough. Gear up for the challenge. Good luck.
What Is the Penalty for Forging & Cashing Someone Else's Social Security Check?
What Is the Penalty for Forging & Cashing Someone Else's Social Security Check?. The Social Security Administration provides benefits to workers who reach retirement age or who can no longer work because of sickness or illness. The benefits are specific to a particular individual; it is against the law to forge and cash someone else's Social Security check. The penalties for fraud are severe.
Fraud
Title II of the Social Security Act describes the types of benefits available to U.S. workers. According to a 2004 report from the U.S. Justice Department, the programs under Title II -- such as retirement benefits, survivor benefits and disability benefits -- have long been the subject of fraud. Fraud is a broad category that includes "forging or falsifying SSA documents" and "conspiring to obtain a false or fraudulent claim." A prosecutor must prove that the defendant acted with the intent to deceive or mislead, which is a slightly lesser standard than other fraud claims. For example, other federal criminal fraud statutes require the intent to defraud or deprive someone of something, as opposed to the simple intent to deceive.
Another idea, have you thought of maybe bringing her home with you for a week? You can pass it off as kind of like a vacation, many people really like vacations to get away from everything. You can reward her with something if she agrees to come with you for a week. Just say you have something special planned for her and actually do it. I'm sure you're smart enough to think of something. Just let her know you're not making her live with you but if she stays with you for a week you'll reward her with something she really likes. That should get her thinking! If she has some kind of special hobbies or favorite treats, you can keep those things handy for her and to give her throughout that week. You can also treat her to a spa treatment, many women like spas. If you can't afford the spa, perhaps you can set up something special that's just like a spa at your house and treat her to it. Try to remember all of her favorite scents and colors. Once you get her home with you, she may not want to leave! Treating her very special could turn out to be something that could change her mind about staying at her own place. You can also fix her favorite meals with all of her favorite foods made with her favorite recipes. I'm sure there must be something she likes that you can offer her. If you treat her a little bit each day throughout the week, I'm sure she would probably dread going back to her house and become very fond of staying with you! These are just a few ideas to get you thinking, and I hope you can get everything straightened out for her and get her life back to normal.
I'd be very interested to know just how long this money issue has been occurring so we could know just a little more. If we had just a little more information, that would tell me anyway some clue into what may really be going on.
My question is how long has this been occurring?
If this has been quite a while, someone is paying to keep her there and prevent eviction, utility cut off and somehow her food is being supplied. This is the case if this money issue has been occurring for a while.
If this is a new issue, then the money if you puts her at risk for eviction, utility cut off, not having enough food to survive, and not being able to get her meds if she pays anything out-of-pocket. Your description really does describe a serious threat to your mom's health, well-being, and even her very life if what I think is occurring really is occurring. If no one is covering her food, shelter, utilities, and meds, she is a very serious risk. This is why it would be very interesting to know just how long this is been occurring. No matter where you live, the risk is the same and the same basic action should be taken to stop the theft, get the money going where it really belongs, and make your mom's basic needs
What you're describing is exactly why I first of all recommend direct deposit. What you're describing is also why I highly recommend online auto bill pay. You set up each of the bills from your end and not let anyone have access to the bank account. Never ever ever let anyone come in after the money because people have been burned for allowing automatic withdraws. This is why I always tell people set it up from your end so you know what's going out.
What you can do now is start your mom a new bank account at another bank. What you can do is see if your mom will let you on the bank account with her. Call Social Security and give them the new bank account's routing and account numbers, and just have her check come to that new account. She should have a debit card for the new account, you'll definitely want to hang onto that card for her. That debit card is more than just an ATM card, you can actually use it as a credit card because it's already prepaid. We really don't want to make no purchases until all of the bills come out though, you want to make sure they mandatory bills such as the rent, utilities, and other absolute mandatory bills such as insurance and other related bills are paid first. Anything extra I can go into a separate checking account so you know what you have extra. I do all of this for myself, and it works very well for me. I've never default on any of my mandatory bills with the strategy I have, I know my bills will be paid first and foremost before anything else is covered. You may look into this strategy for your mom, I highly recommend automatic bill pay set up from your end. If you can get her finances straightened out once and for all, you'll definitely get the leech out of her bank account. It may also turn out that he may move on. If he's not getting any more money from her, he's most likely to feel disappointment to the point he may actually move away and maybe even quit his job with the rental place. You never know that he may not have actually taken advantage of the job to live near her and rob her blind. When you confront your brother, and this is only if it's proven stealing from her, tell him to get a real job and pay his own way instead of taking advantage of others by stealing from them.
If he's on federal benefits himself, you may want to alert Social Security and report him for fraud because if it's actually proven he's the one stealing the money, Social Security can take appropriate measures to recoup the money by cutting him off or cutting way back on what he's getting to make up for what he took from your mom. Somehow she should be refunded every dime with interest that he ever took from her. It would be nice that if Social Security cuts way back on him providing he's getting benefits himself, they can take the money they withhold from him and return it to her. If by chance he's not getting benefits and he just has that job, someone should be able to garnish his wages to recoup the money he stole from your mom. That's why what you need to do now is go to the person collecting the rent and report him. The first step though is to gather the actual paper trail of proof. If it turns out that he's stealing, they may not keep him around too long. I'm not sure what his duties are around there, but you can be sure that if he's stealing money from your mom, he may also be stealing from others for all you know. I would definitely bring this up to the management collecting the rent where they both live and report him since he is a worker and he's living near one of the other residents. I can tell you his boss will definitely want to speak to him. If they happen to be a reputable place, they'll most likely crack down on him themselves, Because they may actually fire him and even evict from his apartment so he won't have no more access to your mom or her money.
One more thing you'll definitely want to review is your mom's competency because you don't know that she may actually be giving him that money and not pa
I have the same exact question someone else does:
If your brother is taking all of your mom's money, who's paying for her to stay in her apartment?
If your brother is taking all of your mom's money, then she would've been evicted for nonpayment, and her utilities would've been shut off. This is what would've become of your mom had there not been any money to pay for her residency and the use of the utilities.
Another question I have is if there's no money, who's feeding her?
Without money, she can't buy groceries (or other essentials), and food banks (at least around here anyway) require people to show proof of where all their money went. For instance, our associated charities requires people who come to them for food to show receipts of where all their money went.
Is your brother her representative payee?
If so, is he using your mom's money to pay for her apartment, utilities, groceries and other needs? Is it possible he's taking all of her (extra) money after bills? If so, it may be time for you or another trusted family member to step in and become her representative payee or even her guardian. What I would do is alert the bank if you suspect fraud, and see what you can do as a fellow family member. I don't know who's withdrawing the money, whether it be her giving it to him or if he's on her bank account. However, I would alert your state's Social Security and report the fraud if you suspect it. If you have an actual print out of proof from the bank of where her money is going, definitely tell Social Security when you make the report. Yes, if this brother is taking money especially from federal benefits that he's not entitled to, he needs to be reported since you now have all of the information about him. Another approach I would make is a police report to see if they would be able to help. Of course, if it turns out the also be a civil matter, you could also alert your state's civil rights department. The fraud really does need to stop because if he really is stealing the money, then he needs to be immediately stopped. It may turn out that when he's investigated, he may not be cut out to be a caregiver. You may want to see what he's doing with the money he's taking from her. You say he spends it all on himself, but do you know that for absolute sure? Are you there when he makes all of these transactions and can he show proof of receipts? This is something the APS and other possible investigators will most likely find out through an investigation. They are most likely going to ask him if he's on his mom's bank account. They're also going to want to know how the apartment and other necessities are being paid for to keep her there. They're also going to want to know how she's buying her groceries. If he's on the account they're going to want to know if he's the one withdrawing money from the bank account. If so, they'll definitely want to know what he's doing with her money, and whether or not he's using that money on her to keep her in her apartment and to keep her alive. They'll most likely want to see proof of receipt and they'll probably want to speak to management who receives the rent money. If the rent's not being paid for that apartment, management is most likely to evict her for nonpayment. Maybe you should speak to management yourself to see what the standing is on your mom's apartment rental and explain to management your suspicions that your brother is taking all of her money. Ask the management if the rent's being paid on your mom's apartment. Next, ask if the utilities are included in her rent. If not, you want to contact each of the utility companies and express your concerns for your mom renting an apartment. Just explain that you have an elderly mom living alone and you want to know if they're getting paid for the utilities to her apartment. You'll probably need personal information about her including her account numbers if she pays for utilities separately. They'll pull up her account and you may want to have her right there with you to consent to having you speak with them on her behalf. If it turns out the rent and utilities are not being paid, that should be a big red flag of the possibility that the brother may be stealing your mom's money. Definitely get those bank records to see how many cash withdraws have been made, this is definitely going to be in your favor to help get all of her money back shou
Who is the Power of Attorney for your Mom? If no one, see if you can be her financial POA and medical POA, then that way you can take control of her social security and pension for her.