Does sis have POA or guardianship? Has dad been determined to be incapacitated?
Signing and speaking his name would not be enough in and of itself for dad to check himself out of a facility if the POA or guardian placed him there. Why do you want him to leave? Why was he placed there? What are his diagnoses? His care may be more than one person can handle well.
Expressing your rage certainly is not going to help dad. I understand, but this is a situation that requires tact and plenty of patience and honesty. If you rage you are showing yourself to be a danger to dad and others.
Try to settle down and approach this through appropriate legal channels. Speak to an elder law attorney that may be able to arrange supervised visits.
Dogsrno1, so this person knows their name and can even write their name but has dementia and is being moved to....??? Please tell us where he's going and who is moving him. Or, did you mean CAN'T write or know his name? Please clarify, thanks!
My sister who wants nothing to do with my parent's except put them away and I've cared for them alone for 2.5 years. She put him in asst living in August 2018. I was told if he could write and say his name he could leave. I walked him out and took him and been caring for him every day inc. Weekends. No break no vacation. On Christmas Eve she did the unthinkable and dumped him at asst living. She has blocked me from seei g him and I feel rage and anguish. nothing has changed so after being told i can't see my father and he is alone and scared and away from me and my mom his wife of 55 years. Nobody will let me see him and I've gone crazy. I lost it and grabbed him and tried taking him out AND they sounded a buzzer and called 911. I am filled with rage and just profound grief bc he doesn't need to be there. My sister did it out of spite. I am desperate bc my father is alone and I can't get to.him.
In my Moms AL, there were people there because of physical problems and needed assistance. One woman was there because of her husband. When he passed, she remained. Guess she figured she'd need help eventually. Another woman was still driving her own car. So being able to write his name and know who he is does not mean he doesn't need AL. The Dementia a lone is a reason for an AL.
Or, do u mean that you want to take a Dementia person out of the facility for the day, dinner or lunch? I was my Moms POA. She suffered from Dementia. I was asked to list those people who could take her out of the building. If you are authorized, I see no problem. The AL does not determine who can and can't take a resident out. The POA/family members do. Where Mom was anyway. ALs are residences. Its like having an apt but someone is there if u need sometype of help. The plus side is u get 3 meals a day and laundry done for you. Residents are not prisoners. They can come and go as they wish. Exception would be those with Dementia who cannot be trusted to come back so would need to be accompanied by someone. My Moms AL was a partial lockdown because of this.
You say "be taken out". Who "put in" the person, and what were the circumstances? Is there a POA involved for health care taking care of this person? Is there an assessment by a legitimate MD that this person is now diagnosed with dementia and is dependent on care? Who is going to take care of this person after he is "taken out". Where is he going. Who is he going WITH. We need to know more about this situation in order to answer. My bro has beginnings of Lewy's diagnosed by symptoms, but not really "assessed", but suffers also with a benign and likely decades long brain tumor on the medulla that affects balance. He has entered Assisted Living after a very serious accident and rehab of one month, and has decided not to go home with assistance, and to stay in assisted living. At this point he is quite mentally able with only forgetfulness. In fact thriving and improving in Assisted Living. He writes letters, can do pretty much what he would like to do. Yes, he could sign himself out of Assisted Living. His friend there, however, is both mentally impaired and physically fragile, and he would not be safe on his own. So it amounts to is the person safe, and independent, able to live in independent living situation with help as needed, and the ability to get that help. That person can make his or her own decision. But as far as being ONLY able to say your name and write your name, but have no other faculties to function in the real world you can see that a person would be prey to just "anyone" having them sign out, to be "taken somewhere", made to "sign anything", and be used as a cash vending machine.
My step mother can say her name, her SS# and she can still somewhat write her name. She has been diagnosed with Front Temporal dementia. She won't sign herself out as she has no where to go, no home, no car, no access to her money. She lives in AL with her husband, when he dies she will go into memory care. My brother holds her DPOA.
I am not sure of why you are asking the question...is it you who wants to take someone out of AL?
My LO, who can write her name and say it, state her birthdate, and state the town she lived in before entering a locked MCU, has SEVERE short term memory loss. Her placement, where she is continues to be, is totally appropriate for her needs.
The skills you’ve described need to be taken as part of a total picture concerning your father’s needs and your attempts to address them.
A cognitive assessment administered by a geriatric psychiatrist/psychologist/social worker or similarly trained mental health worker is often VERY helpful when attempting to meet the needs of people in need of residential placement. Has this been done on your father’s behalf?
Signing and speaking his name would not be enough in and of itself for dad to check himself out of a facility if the POA or guardian placed him there. Why do you want him to leave? Why was he placed there? What are his diagnoses? His care may be more than one person can handle well.
Expressing your rage certainly is not going to help dad. I understand, but this is a situation that requires tact and plenty of patience and honesty. If you rage you are showing yourself to be a danger to dad and others.
Try to settle down and approach this through appropriate legal channels. Speak to an elder law attorney that may be able to arrange supervised visits.
Or, do u mean that you want to take a Dementia person out of the facility for the day, dinner or lunch? I was my Moms POA. She suffered from Dementia. I was asked to list those people who could take her out of the building. If you are authorized, I see no problem. The AL does not determine who can and can't take a resident out. The POA/family members do. Where Mom was anyway. ALs are residences. Its like having an apt but someone is there if u need sometype of help. The plus side is u get 3 meals a day and laundry done for you. Residents are not prisoners. They can come and go as they wish. Exception would be those with Dementia who cannot be trusted to come back so would need to be accompanied by someone. My Moms AL was a partial lockdown because of this.
We need to know more about this situation in order to answer.
My bro has beginnings of Lewy's diagnosed by symptoms, but not really "assessed", but suffers also with a benign and likely decades long brain tumor on the medulla that affects balance. He has entered Assisted Living after a very serious accident and rehab of one month, and has decided not to go home with assistance, and to stay in assisted living. At this point he is quite mentally able with only forgetfulness. In fact thriving and improving in Assisted Living. He writes letters, can do pretty much what he would like to do. Yes, he could sign himself out of Assisted Living. His friend there, however, is both mentally impaired and physically fragile, and he would not be safe on his own. So it amounts to is the person safe, and independent, able to live in independent living situation with help as needed, and the ability to get that help. That person can make his or her own decision. But as far as being ONLY able to say your name and write your name, but have no other faculties to function in the real world you can see that a person would be prey to just "anyone" having them sign out, to be "taken somewhere", made to "sign anything", and be used as a cash vending machine.
I am not sure of why you are asking the question...is it you who wants to take someone out of AL?
The skills you’ve described need to be taken as part of a total picture concerning your father’s needs and your attempts to address them.
A cognitive assessment administered by a geriatric psychiatrist/psychologist/social worker or similarly trained mental health worker is often VERY helpful when attempting to meet the needs of people in need of residential placement. Has this been done on your father’s behalf?