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The patient has been designated as ready to go home and can care for oneself at home. Request for extension has been declined. The rehab/SNF requires that the patient be picked up by a family member.



The spouse is reluctant to pick them up, citing longstanding personal anger toward the patient, and may refuse. Is the spouse required and legally responsible for retrieving the patient when there is no other family available?



If the spouse were to refuse to collect the patient, would the spouse be at risk of accusation by the facility for neglecting an elder?



What is the order of legal responsibility by type of family member for collection of the patient?



For reference, I am not the spouse. I am not allowed to drive the patient home. There is no abuse from the patient toward the spouse. This matter is a personal vendetta from the spouse, directed at the patient.

@Geaton - we thought the situation was pure idiocy. It all fell apart. The local relatives were so frustrated and worn out that when MIL was diagnosed with vascular dementia that none would agree to be their guardians even with both living in the local nursing home. That's how we ended up moving them to our state.

Unfortunately, sometimes you just have to let these situations run their course.
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Reply to OncehatedDIL
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So patient is dropped off at home and spouse refuses to let her in. If she is informed correctly, she can call the police that her husband threw her out of the house. That is spousal abuse and might just be grounds to arrest the husband. Women seem to have more rights.
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Reply to MACinCT
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It seems that the patient does not need care. The spouse does not want patient home.

No, a Spouse does not have to pick up the patient. The Hospital can send the patient home in a cab.

Anyone picking patient up is now responsible for them. So, I would not do it anyway.
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Reply to JoAnn29
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My inlaws had this same issue. MIL was happy to pay cash for FIL to stay. One brother convinced another brother to "rescue" FIL from the SNF and drop him off at home. MIL refused to care for him, as she had said, neighbors helped when he fell out of bed as both of FIL's legs had been amputated. Day caregivers were hired and paid and MIL called relatives and neighbors when he needed anything after caregivers' working hours.
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Reply to OncehatedDIL
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Geaton777 Jul 3, 2024
I don't think it's fair or wise to put the burden and liability on other relatives and neighbors. I would never allow myself to be "assumed" into being their ongoing "solution". I'd certainly help at first but if it became a regular thing, I'd tell that spouse to hire night-time helpers. Needing on-call "volunteers" to keep someone in their home is a sure sign that the person needs to hire more paid -- and appropriately trained -- help, or just transition into a facility.
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The spouse should have weeks ago told the rehab social worker that their spouse cannot return home as they are an unsafe discharged and that they can no longer physically or mentally care for them.
The social worker would have then had to find placement for the spouse in rehab. Not sure if it's too late to try that now, but I would certainly give it a try.
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Reply to funkygrandma59
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"Anger" is not a legal excuse to prevent someone from returning to their *legal* residence. Whether or not they can get themselves there on their own is another matter.

Then there's the issue of a non-approved extension of stay costing actual money not covered by insurance or Medicare. It will be expensive.

The spouse doesn't have to be the caregiver once the patient returns home, but should maybe consult a divorce attorney and stop acting like a baby. The angry spouse can create a boundary by leaving since this is the only thing they can actually control at this point.
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Reply to Geaton777
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