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Hello again,
Well, Mom cancelled another geriatric assessment appointment! That's 5! I am DONE! I called the paramedic service today and they are coming Saturday to do a MoCa. And I've comtacted a lawyer and gotten a bit of advice on the proerty, as well as being directed to contact "capacity assessors" to see if it could be done that route instead of through the Dr. The sad reality is, until she is deemed incapable of making her own decisions, she can keep making bad ones.
But I am #@$%#@! done. I told my brother it's time to place her. I don't really expect him to agree or offer assistance, but at least I've put it out there.
Does anyone have any idea how to get a LO placed, without an assessment? We are in Ontario, Canada, and I know most of you are from the US, but I'll take any help I can get right now.
TIA

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I'd contact the Ontario equivalent of the local agency on aging/seniors and start there.
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Try a care coordinator through Home and Community Support Services at 310-2222 (no area code required) can help. This info is from the Long-term care section of www.ontario.ca/page/your-health.

Best wishes for a happy outcome for your peace of mind.
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cinderblock avatar
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cinderblock Jan 2023
Yeah, we do have a care coordinator/case manager who isn't very helpful. The paramedic service has been trying to reach her on our behalf, but still no word. Mom keeps getting reassigned, so I think that's part of why nothing gets done.
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How annoying! It's too late now, but can you reschedule the assessment AND tell them to NOT let her cancel? To call you and see if it's valid? I had to start doing that with mom's caregivers, etc. She would tell them to go home and I told them that they were not to leave without MY permission.
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cinderblock avatar
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cinderblock Jan 2023
I don't have the authority to do that, until the assessment is completed. It is really nuts the way this works out.
She is back in the hospital again, with another intestinal blockage. 4th time since November. She keeps taking loperamide and getting blocked up, and the dr keeps prescribing them. Maybe this will make someone look a little closer.
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When she is due to be released...actually before that point...
Tell the discharge planner or a Social Worker that she can not be discharged back to your home. Tell them that you can no longer safely care for her.
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cinderblock avatar
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cinderblock Feb 2023
I tried that! She went back to the hospital last Thursday, and they sent her home Tuesday. My brother went and picked her up and she was here when I got home from work. Even though I had told the hospital not to send her home, that I couldn't care for her.
And now, last night, she hearly burnt the house down. She started cooking and went to bed. The fire dept was here, the smoke alarms going off, house filled with smoke on the coldest night of the year I had to stand outside in my bathrobe. That's it. She could have killed us all. She needs to go, and now!
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The memory care that my MIL was placed in , they came out to her house. she did need to be seen by her physician first , we are in the US.. ...Are you able to make an appointment and tell her a white lie to get her into the appointment.. maybe she needs to go so she can get her meds refilled ?
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cinderblock avatar
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cinderblock Feb 2023
I did that once and it backfired, sadly. She got up and left the room, and there was no way after that that she would allow me to attend any more appointments. I'm worried it may come down to evicting her, having the police bring her to the hospital, something that would no doubt be very traumatic for her.
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Cinderblock, I have read all your responses. If I understand it right your Mom never has been diagnosed with any dementia? Is that correct? And despite having a care coordinator/case manager you are unable to get this done?
If you have a Mom you took into your home, who may be impaired but is untested, I don't honestly see how you can remove her, because if she IS impaired it may be abandonment at the point and if she is not she may fight any eviction in court.
I would see an attorney. I don't see another way. And if that person has no answers, I surely don't. I sure do wish you good luck, but this entire thread is a very deep warning to others considering taking elders into their own homes.
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cinderblock avatar
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cinderblock Feb 2023
Absolutely! I warn everyone now not to do it. Find some other solution - anything! Because I have no way out of this hell.
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