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My grandma is 91 and has Alzheimer's, is diabetic and for the past 7 years has receieved dialysis. Her Alzheimer's progression has been slow. She of course has had bad and good days. Up until a couple months she has held conversations, sings, eats a lot, and has remained active coloring and using a popper which she loves. Late this April she had a fall and since sometimes when we take her to the bathroom she has already done #2. As far as I remember her primary care doctor is always talking about letting her go bc of her quality of life. Since 2014, she talks about stopping care for her and ever since COVID she refuses too see my grandma in person. My grandma has been very sleepy lately (and I've read about end of life and how some elders become sleepy 24/7) but before making any desicions I wanted her to get checked for a UTI, or something. Again, her PCP wanted a phone appt and said UTI was not the case bc my grandma still produces urine. That made no sense to me and instead said my grandma is dying and has a few days left. That same day my grandma was singing and asking to go out for a car ride. I work in a clinic and see elders all the time coming in for check ups. I am so frustrated, have you experienced the same?

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Doctors work FOR YOU!!! They aren't deigning to see patients because of their altruism--it's a JOB, and some are much better than others.

Trust me, you dump this doctor and move on and it will be no skin off her nose. She might even be a little grateful for your leaving. Elderly patients take a lot more time and could be that mom's doc just doesn't have it in her.

My Mom's PCP is 80 years old. I cannot believe she still sees him, and more surprised that he is still wanting to practice. I took her once and was SHOCKED to see the very poor care he gave her. Just keeps adding more and more meds to her stash.

I've fired drs before--basically just stepped away from there care and found a new doc. It took me 4 doctors to find one to properly diagnose my fractured ankle. And 4 years of my life.

And a dr can 'fire' a patient. My mom's orthopedic surgeon told her 3 years ago he won't do any more orthopedic surgeries. She cannot navigate finding a new one on her own, so she's stuck, I guess. At 91, the last thing she needs is a hip replacement because she's worried her hip is getting really bad. (It's not)
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Time to get grandma a new doctor and to report this one to the AMA, in my opinion. I'd even tell her so; practicing 'medicine' over the phone, letting a patient know they 'don't have a UTI b/c they're producing urine' is pure nonsense, and telling them they have a few days left to live without giving them an examination or even LAYING EYES on them is a reason to have their license revoked, imo. Not to mention, any so-called 'doctor' who's STILL too afraid to see patients in person due to a virus with a 99%+ survival rate should not be practicing medicine AT ALL at this point. What a disgrace to the profession this 'doctor' is, with the way she's treated you and your grandmother who's still alive and kicking!

Wishing you the best of luck finding a new PCP.
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For a suspected UTI, untreated by her PCP, take her today to urgent care or to the emergency room.
Pick up the prescription by tonight.

A UTI in the elderly presents with behavioral symptoms, and not the usual diagnostic symptoms.
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I'm wondering if this doctor just feel comfortable caring for your mother with the onset of dementia.   Maybe she just doesn't have the gumption or tact to come right out and express this.
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For me it wasn't a doctor but my mom's case manager (an RN) who had me convinced that my mom's unexplained decline meant that she was nearing the end of life and I made quite a few decisions based on that erroneous opinion (mom lived many years beyond that point). Find a doctor who actually sees their patients as individuals, not case statistics.
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Google “geriatric specialists”.
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Time for another doctor. She doesn't seem interested in treating your grandma anymore. And you still produce urine even if you have a UTI, so I don't know why she is saying that.

I had to make an appointment for my mother (93 yo)for her annual physical and asked if we could just to a virtual appointment since mom isn't having any issues and will fight me when she has to leave the house. I was told absolutely not. She wasn't able to be seen in person last year and the doctor wants to give her an actual physical to make sure nothing new is slipping under the radar. While I'm dreading this appointment, I appreciate the doctor actually showing an interest in my mom's well-being.
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ineedsupport32, has your grandmother had her Covid shots? If not, that is one reason why her doctor isn't seeing her.

The doctor could be fully vaccinated but can still catch covid without having any symptoms, therefore the doctor could pass covid onto patients who haven't been vaccinated. No doctor, or anyone for that matter, wants to be responsible for another person's hospitalization or passing.

Covid isn't an excuse, it's reality. You may find other doctors doing the same thing.
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sp19690 Oct 2021
Absolute nonsense and immoral to not treat someone because they haven't had their nano injection.
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What, you can produce Urine with a UTI. If u work for a clinic, ask if Grandma can be brought in for a UTI test. Incontinence comes with a Dementia. Grandma needs to be in pull ups.

Grandma needs to see another doctor. I would have no faith in this one. Doctor's opened their offices months ago. She may need to wear a mask and distance.

Yes, Doctor's can refuse to see a patient. My MIL refused to follow a Drs orders and he dropped her as a patient. But if Grandma has been seeing this Dr for years, I am surprised at her attitude.
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ineedsupport32 Oct 2021
You're correct but with her insurance I cannot take her to my clinic as it's a private institution and out of network. Bc of my job my mom is the one who talks to the doctor and then tells me. I will make an appt today for in person and will look for another PCP. She does wear pull ups and sometimes needs a full bath.
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Time for a new doctor. Why would you want her seen by a doctor who doesn’t want to care for her?
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ineedsupport32 Oct 2021
She has been my grandma's PCP for more than 20 yrs and bc she knows my grandma's medical history we thought it would be best to keep her. My grandma really loved and appreciated her before Alzheimer. But ever since my grandma's health has become complex she always talks about death with dignity (which a lot of docors do so I didnt think much of it). But it's been 2 years since she saw her in person with the COVID excuse.
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