Can I get my father out of the nursing home due to spouse abandonment?

Your Dad is in Rehab. You need to first allow them to do therapy. After a stroke, the brain has to learn things all over again. If one part of the brain is damaged, there is hope that the other side can take over but it will take a lot of physical therapy. At this point, he needs to be left where he is. Eventually he will hit a plateau. At that time he will be evaluated and then decisions can be made. At this point know one knows what the future will be. At this point I would not even think about taking him home. He will get more therapy in Rehab.

🙂

What is “young?” And what is her best life? What might be her limitations that you can’t see? There may be excellent reasons why she can’t take care of a stroke victim. I have done it. You have no idea how hard it is even for those in the best of health. The rehab sends them home when their insurance stops paying, but that doesn’t mean they should go home. Your dad will have a long haul to get better, and professionals can provide that. Then maybe he will be able to resume living his best life with her.

Why are you right there blaming your stepmother, accusing her of "living her best life"? What were you doing for your father prior to his stroke? What makes you think his wife is capable of caring for him at home? Are YOU prepared to care for your father at home, alone? What is your medical training that gives you the qualifications to do so?

Stop shouting and jumping to conclusions and trying to tear your stepmother a new one. Get all the facts FIRST before you do a single thing. Treat her with respect as you give her the benefit of the doubt here. Your father is in REHAB after being hospitalized for a stroke. This doesn't mean he's there permanently, either. Learn how the process works.

Relax, breathe, and act like an adult as you try to do what's best for all concerned here.

Good luck

What is his medical prognosis?

As hard as it is for you that your daddy's life has changed so abruptly, it is really important to know what his actual medical situation is before you try to take him from care.

I lost my grandmother to a series of strokes, Friday I had the best grandmother on the planet, Monday she was gone forever but, there was a body that looked just like her. We tried to care for her at home, it wasn't a doable situation for anyone and grandma was better cared for in a facility. So, I know how tragic strokes can be.

Please, please find out what is going on with him medically and try to work with his wife to ensure he is getting the best care possible.

I am so sorry your family is dealing with this.

"Living her best life."

Yeah, sure. Her husband is now in a nursing home for the long term, cost them thousands of dollars each month, but sure, she's out there "living her best life."

I'm sure you're right there with all the facts, right?

Unless you have the legal authority to have him discharged to your care you can not "get him out".
If you do not think he is getting proper care, or that you can provide better care you can TRY to obtain Guardianship. This will be a lengthy and potentially expensive thing to do.
And you would need to prove that your care would be better for him and safer for him than in a Skilled Nursing Facility.
Placing someone in a Skilled Nursing facility is the appropriate then got do if you do not think you are able to safely care for someone.
Caring for someone that is in the position your father is in is not going to be easy.
Someone will have to be with him 24/7/365.
You mention that you work full time and you have 3 children. How do you propose that you are going to be able to continue to do what you do and care for your father?

*please do not use all CAPS...it is like you are shouting at us. thank you.

No, not for spouse abandonment. Wife doesn't have to take on the responsibility of caring for him if she chooses not to. Possibly you could though if you want to take him to your home. You would have to convince the medical people you are able to safely take care of him. Good luck.

Please call Adult Protective Services and ask them to do a welfare check and evaluation for placement.