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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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You might want to actually research pot use and it’s affect on the brain because it’s pretty harmless & likely not the reason he’s making bad decisions. Now if he was doing meth or cocaine, that would be another story.
I understand your concern about poor decision-making, but I doubt the pot is the cause. (In fact, it's even possible your brother is using pot to self-medicate for a mental or physical health disorder.) I suggest focusing on the bad decisions, your brother's frequent absences, and your permanent presence as reasons for your mom to change the POA.
Thank you for the advice. You’re right! I should focus on those issues. As you know, this is a stressful situation without family discord, so the added bonus of my brother’s unreasonable position, everything is magnified. I’ll take a deep breath and some time to think this over.
No. Your mother appointed him. If smoking weed is illegal where he lives, it is no longer a felony unless he is selling it and has a large supply. If he is caught smoking it, it is a misdemeanor. I can see why you are nervous about his having POA over your mother, though. Do you have any siblings? Have you spoken with a lawyer about this?
If I have to get a lawyer I will. My sister is trying to mediate but he is still being a jerk. I’m going to take some time to see what develops. Thanks for your reply, I know we all have limited time to ourselves.
It isn't your fault that your mother gave power of attorney to your brother. You say brother convinced your dad. But only your mother could make the decision.
You have already once had to step away from caregiving on the advice of your physician. Raised eyebrows over some of your brother's decisions are a reason to discuss the decisions. They're not a reason to get sucked in again.
So if you don't mind my asking, have you really thought this through?
Your mother can, if she's still competent and it's the right sort of POA. Or, if your brother is convicted of an offence which disqualifies him from holding POA for someone, the state can. Haven't a clue whether what he's smoking would count. It may be illegal in that state, but are prosecutions common there?
I assume this isn't actually the reason you don't think your mother's POA is safe in his hands. What are the more pertinent reasons? Wouldn't it be better to pursue those?
Sorry, the POA is for my mom. Pot is illegal in this state. I’m concerned that he is high when making decisions because some of them just don’t make sense. They aren’t always in line with what medical professionals are advising. There are plenty of other reasons including the fact that he only lives here 6 months out of the year and has never been here for any medical emergencies. He also doesn’t return from the other state when there is an emergency. I live here full time and am with her every step of the way. I think it would make sense for me to have POA. He convinced my dad that they should change when I had to step away from their care on advice of my physician after many years of being the sole caregiver.
Is this your POA or that of someone else? If yours, you can change a POA for any reason as long as you haven't been deemed incapable mentally of doing so. If it's someone else's, you have no authority to make any changes at all.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
If smoking weed is illegal where he lives, it is no longer a felony unless he is selling it and has a large supply. If he is caught smoking it, it is a misdemeanor. I can see why you are nervous about his having POA over your mother, though.
Do you have any siblings? Have you spoken with a lawyer about this?
It isn't your fault that your mother gave power of attorney to your brother. You say brother convinced your dad. But only your mother could make the decision.
You have already once had to step away from caregiving on the advice of your physician. Raised eyebrows over some of your brother's decisions are a reason to discuss the decisions. They're not a reason to get sucked in again.
So if you don't mind my asking, have you really thought this through?
He may be breaking the law, but in my whole life I have never seen ANYONE arrested for smoking pot, whether it was legal or not.
You should talk to mom. It's her call.
Your mother can, if she's still competent and it's the right sort of POA. Or, if your brother is convicted of an offence which disqualifies him from holding POA for someone, the state can. Haven't a clue whether what he's smoking would count. It may be illegal in that state, but are prosecutions common there?
I assume this isn't actually the reason you don't think your mother's POA is safe in his hands. What are the more pertinent reasons? Wouldn't it be better to pursue those?
There are plenty of other reasons including the fact that he only lives here 6 months out of the year and has never been here for any medical emergencies. He also doesn’t return from the other state when there is an emergency. I live here full time and am with her every step of the way. I think it would make sense for me to have POA. He convinced my dad that they should change when I had to step away from their care on advice of my physician after many years of being the sole caregiver.