Can I sue the well off adult child for abandoning, neglecting their 83 year old grandma and their two parents who are old and disabled as well?

If grandma is 83 I am guessing there are 2 adults around 60 capable and have some income? Any reason they don’t take care of home? Roaches flying for six years and nobody did anything?

Be aware, its not abandonment if you have never cared for that person. Abandonment is when u have been caring for someone and you get up and leave without making sure the person will be cared for. If Dementia is in play, then you have them placed. If they are competent, as these people seem to be, there is no abandonment. APS may help them get an exterminator and maybe some resources but the people are competent to make their own decisions.

The OP has not been back to answer questions.

I agree with another answer posred here--this is not your territory. You are not family. It sounds like a very complex, unhealthy family dysfunction going through the generations. Drawing on my own experience with a sister and her wife who were hoarders, I stopped visiting them in their home. They refused any help and could not understand why I did not want to visit them in their squalor. My sister had complex medical problems that resulted in addiction/dependence on opioids. Could substance abuse be a complicating factor here? If so, a facility could be a blessing in disguise.

I’m still thinking about this post. If you and your BF care so much, why didn’t you intervene before it got so out of control that the house is getting condemned? Before the roaches? Before the bed bugs? Why did you sit back and watch it happen? Honestly curious.

Ahhh no. Call APS, or the sheriff to do a wellness check,

They are adults and obviously not able to make good decisions. and care for themselves. As for Grandma, the best place for her is in a NH, she will be out of the squalor.

Stay out of it, not your circus, not your monkeys you are not a family member, it is their issue to resolve IF they want to become involved.

No, you cannot sue anyone as you have suffered no damages. Lawsuits don't work that way.

If great-grandma is 83, then I'm assuming the parents/elders in the roach-ridden house are about, what, early 60s at most?

Seriously? They can't care for themselves?

If you truly feel the need, you can contact the police for a welfare check, but otherwise, they can likely care for themselves and choose to live like slobs. Thank goodness the grandson took Elsie out of there.

These elders would rather live in squalor and filth, in a roach infested home, than go into a clean nursing home where they will be properly cared for, showered, fed, socialized, etc?

The true "justice" here would be for their house to get condemned and all get placed in managed care where they will be forced to live a decent lifestyle.

I, personally, never visit a home that has bed bugs and roaches, can you honestly blame them?

Adults are free to make their own bad choices and live any disgusting way they choose.

You can sue anybody for anything. (That comes from the mouth of my son, who is an attorney). However, you aren't going to 'win' and you're going to lose a ton of money in the process.

Since APS is now involved, let them do their jobs.

I can't really follow your 'tale'...but I hope you don't get too involved. The 'younger elders' can't be much over 60 and that's hardly elderly, by any standards.

If you're planning to 'sue' the rich relative for money to care for this passel of folks, you're NOT going to get it from him.

They should be in a nursing home as they are ALL living in some pretty disgusting conditions and you and your boyfriend have done nothing about it for 6 years.

You are not going to get the financial help you would need to take care of these elders so give that fantasy up right now.

You ask what about their home? What about it? It's a nasty bed bug and roach infested place and if the grandson was smart he would call adult protective services about it.

A nursing home is the appropriate place for these 3 mentally ill seniors.

To sue there needs to be neglect from person/s who have the duty of care.

These adults are all competent to make their own decisions (unless proved otherwise). They can choose to live this way (bad decision or not).

If the situation looks unhygenic or dangerous, report to APS.

What do you expect the other relatives to do? Visit, say "Clean this place up!" The residents say no or yeah we will, later.. they don't.

Do you expect the 'rich' relatives to ride in with a cleaning team, pest exterminators, home maintenance & decorators? What then? How long before the home is roach infested again.

PS What would YOU do if you were the 'rich' relative?

You are out of line.

You can’t take care of this many elderly sick people. They need help from social services. As far as not making them go somewhere they don’t want to go, any place would be better than where they are living with roaches and bedbugs.

To answer your question, of course you can sue IF you can find a lawyer willing to take it on and you are prepared to pay the lawyer’s bills. BUT you won’t win.

No, he has not abandoned them. If great grandma is 83 then uncle is in his 40s and the grandma her 60s at least. Unless GGma has Dementia, the other people are competent to make informed decisions. They all chose to live this way and thats how APS will look at it. Neither your BF or Scott are responsible for these people. They are grandchildren. Other than GGma, Uncle and grandma could be holding down jobs. Uncle especially. GGma should have Social Security. Maybe even Grandma but she can work if collecting. There are resources if for some reason Uncle and grandma cannot work. Then the place is being condemned! I hope APS is involved in find them all a place to live. That is not ur BFs or Scotts responsibility. You have to let APS do their job.

So no, you can't sue Scott or any family members. With roaches and bed bugs I would not be visiting with them either. They could carry these creatures back to their homes.

BF should not be supporting them. What needs to be done is find resources to help them. If Uncle or his Mom are disabled there is Social Security disability. There is Supplemental income (SSI). Foodstamps. Food pantries. HUD housing. Low Income housing. So, again, if APS is involved, let them handle the situation. They can get these people help alot faster than BF can.

To clarify, you believe that 2 people can provide care for 4 very needy elderly people?

Is the "rich" relative their PoA? If not, who is? If no one is there PoA, it is possible the elders refuse to assign one or refuse help. This is a *very* common scenario that leaves caretakers with few good options. Has anyone ever reported them to APS as vulnerable adults?

Unless the elders qualify for Medicaid (and in most states Medicaid only pays for LTC) then they are stuck paying for their own help. If they need 24/7 care, this is very expensive, sometimes more expensive than a facility.

Family caregivers need to be paid by the elders out of their own funds. Even if they qualify for an Elder Waiver (the in-home care option of Medicaid) it is not common to get 24/7 caregiving paid and it is at minimum wage.

No, the "rich" relative cannot be sued by you or the elders. Please make sure you know all the details before you get angry about their care. FYI in a facility his Grandma will get social interaction and the possibility of activities and events, plus the medical care she needs.

If you think you 2 can possibly take on the task of caring for them, then they'd need to assign him PoA or he needs to pursue guardianship through the courts (at about $10K each person).

I understand it is upsetting to see the conditions they are living in, but sometimes their impaired minds cause them to resist moving or outside help. It happens all the time, and is complicated by there being no PoA or legal guardian. You can read more about it on many posts on this forum.