My mom and dad are planning a 11 hour trip to come to my wedding. My dad was diagnosed a few months ago with early to mid stage dementia and was made to take a driver's test and he didn't pass either one of the test and had his license privileges taken away. He thinks because he still has his actual drivers license ID that he has his license. He is insisting on making the trip from Ohio to North Carolina by car and he will be driving part if not all the way. He says he's fine and can drive just fine even after not driving for several months. I'm scared to death at the thoughts of them being on the road that long and then leaving my house and making another 10 hour trip and then a 5 hour trip home to Ohio. if he were to be in a auto accident or gets pulled over by a police officer for speeding or reckless driving, what would the ramifications be? Would my mother be held responsible because she is aware of his licenses being taken away. She won't speak up to him about but she so desperately needs to. I have two weeks till my wedding and I'm going to be on pins and needles at the thought of them making this trip.
I've also witnessed the difficulty of a woman in her eighties facing telling her ninety year old husband that his driving was scaring her out of her wits, and to them it feels like an act of Delilah-like betrayal; but I'm sorry - it's your mother who is going to have to put her foot down.
Add up the sums right for her, and she'll be able to tell him that she is NOT going to spend a whole waking day in the car when for "virtually" the same money she can travel in style and arrive with her hair looking nice. And cabs at both ends - she is not going to put up with walking miles across a parking lot. It's her daughter's wedding, she is mother of the bride, and she must have her way.
Meanwhile, as a separate issue from your special day, she needs to call a nice community police officer and ask him to come round and speak sternly to your father and explain that he does not have a valid driving licence. If he won't listen to a uniformed officer, then his dementia is definitely too far gone for him to be driving and she should ask for help to disable or sell the car.
It sounds as though your mom may need some support.
IF you allow your parents to drive to your wedding and something happens, it will affect your life forever after. Do you really want that on your conscience?
True, but depends on when the wedding is, plus it would be better if they arrived a few days before the ceremony. 11 hour drive can be grueling for young or old.
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