My 93 yr old mom has been in NH in MD since May. Prior to that she lived alone. She went there as rehab patient after pacemaker, fell & broke her hip in late June. Her dementia has definitely progressed after the hospital stays & a UTI. However, she's usually calm & content except for a bit of confusion here & there. She participates in most activities, plays bingo 3x's a week, mostly independent. She cannot walk & wheels around the 3 units because she gets bored. She likes to be around people.
I'm sure she needs help getting back to her room & will say "Help,help". The staff all know her well & usually redirect her, get her a snack. But the administration doesn't seem to like when she's wheeling around & they think she should move to the memory care unit on a different floor. My mother-in-law was in this unit for 2 weeks so I have firsthand experience & I truly don't think my mom needs to be there. I feel that this move would really confuse her & the atmosphere would make her worse. My 2 sisters & I take turns so 1 of us visits everyday & spends 2-3 hrs with her. The aides all seem to like her & do say that occasionally she doesn't want to go to bed & says she wants to go home. She def has signs of Alzheimer's & asks about routines & if she stays there, etc. But most days are good. She can still solve a Wheel of Fortune game, follows worship service reading, and has a sense of humor. Admin wants to meet with me to discuss her move. This would be awful with Christmas coming.
Depending on the Memory Care rules, she could be allowed to roam around the other floors and meet up with friends she already made up until a certain night time hour. Then those on Memory Care need to back on their own floor.
As for empty bed in Memory Care, grab this bed while it is available. Most memory care centers have a long waiting list. Probably there is an exception to a resident who is already living in the complex.
I had placed my Dad on one such waiting list, just in case he didn't like were he was living and it was 6 months until that other place had called me with an opening. Dad loved where he was, so there was no moving him :)
My mother in law lived in AL there & after hospital stay, she was quite confused & disoriented. This was just 5 weeks ago. She was down in the dementia unit for 10 days. Her delusions were a result of steroids. She is now living at another nursing home which is not as expensive. This home that my mom is in is the most expensive in our area.
I have visited the MC unit on several occasions as the nurses & aides know me. I was just there yesterday, as I try to get as much observation as I can. The staffing is the same & they rotate their nurses & aides so most of them know mom from rehab & the SN unit.
I'm just wondering if they can force this placement or will I have last say being POM?
I feel that all residential facilities should have secure outside doors not just memory care or at least have alarms on the doors and patient's wrists if they are likely to wander.
When i was in rehab a nursing home patient told me she knew how to get out. So i asked if she had the phone number for a taxi to escape. She said she didn't and anyway they would track you down and bring you back!!!!!!!!!!!!!!.
When I had to visit a patient on Hospice in a local nursing home memory care unit i came away shaking. The noise, screaming, banging stuff on tables etc just sent shivers down my spine.
Decided there and then I would lock the doors and let the grass grow up over my windows.
Try and find out the real reason they want to move Mom to MC and make your decision from there.
I remember when the Staff at my Dad's Independent Living facility said it was time for him to either move into Assisted Living/Memory Care, or for him to bring on a couple more shifts of private caregivers. I was so surprised by this request. Boy, they are so right.
Turns out when my Dad goes into "sundowning" he will wander with his walker, and could easily go out the front door. Thus Memory Care was the answer. Dad liked his "dorm room" and I knew he was secure being in that section of the complex. He became good friends with the gentleman who lived in the next door room, who had also recently transferred from IL to MC. They had all their meals together in the dining room, along with another fellow. Dad learned immediately where the dining room was located :)
Safety was the #1 concern. Yes, the Staff faces were new to him.... but the nurses were the same, and so was the Med Tech.
Other than the severity of the other residents' impairments in the MCU, do you also have reservations about the staffing, or the range of activities residents could participate in if they were able, or any other differences in approach to care?
And how long ago was your MIL in there?
I'm just wondering if it might be a good idea to go and have another close look at the MCU. A visit like this would either confirm your feeling that your mother isn't ready for it yet, and give you an opportunity to state your reasons while the staff are looking at exactly the same things; or it might be that the unit is different now from how you remember it and on closer examination could be a good fit for your mother after all.
So if you've got the meeting scheduled anyway, I'd request that it include a tour of the unit and go with an open mind - which you are equally entitled to expect of the the admin people, by the way.
Don't get bullied! But don't paint yourself into a corner, either. Best of luck, I hope it proves to be a really constructive meeting - and that your mother keeps winning at the bingo :)