My mother is 89 years old and has a lot of health problems. She lives in her home and my brother lives there also. He is middle aged. He has a personality disorder and causes more problems than he solves. I live an hour and a half away. And I am emotionally almost drained from her and her problems and potential problems. She does not have dementia!!! And is not getting it!!! So how much is she responsible for her own life and how much am I when she is stubborn and won't do the right things? I am getting sick of having to fight her emotionally with everything that she won't do. For example she is willing to go without home insurance if the insurance she is trying to get now falls through. She will let her current policy end and not renew. It is twice the cost of most other homeowner insurance but still. And it's all cause my brother would drive her crazy if she renewed the current insurance. I said I don't care what he does. She responds that I don't have to live with him! She does! I kept telling her she had to have home insurance. She said she knows but she can't take how my brother would be if she did. He sees everything and would know. A few years ago Adult protective services came out. They did nothing. A social worker told me that unless the situation is really, really bad they don't do anything.
Barbara
He would be angry if she stayed with current insurance cause all the quotes I have been giving them have been so much cheaper.
Barbara
An elderly woman in Buffalo NY lost her home by refusing to pay the garbage fees; the city sent the property to the county tax auction and someone scooped up a lovely home for only a few hundred dollars.
Would your mother be better off selling her home and moving to a nice senior apartment closer to you?
It sounds like an unhealthy, dysfunctional relationship between your mom and your brother, if he's advising her to do things like drop her insurance and badgering her about it.