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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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Because real life sure isn't. Every day it stressful, anxiety producing, unsettling, at least part of the day. I guess it would be like meditating. Shoving reality away for a bit.
Hadnuff, Were you able to see the full supermoon the last three nights? If you go outside tonight, it may still be super! Close to the earth, awesome, bigger than us and comparing our lives to nature can lift us up.
The moon appears calm...but close-up it may not be so....kind of like our problems close-up. If we step away, talk to someone....how are you feeling today?
Do you have close friends or family members that you can discuss things with? Have you talked to anyone besides the people online who suggest you explore options for your husband's care. I might explore what others think and even get a professional opinion, so you can figure out what is causing the extreme anxiety and if it's due to the situation or something else.
What does his doctor and your doctor think of how things are going and how you are having so much distress? Do you think your level of mental distress would be less if you didn't have so many demands for your husband's around the clock care?
Are there any other options that might lighten your load and still provide your husband excellent care?
YES. And take each moment and each task and difficulty and each meal and everything else, one moment at a time. Give it your full attention. Go outside for a few minutes and take deep breaths...it changes reality and renews you. Before going on scripts, try your local health food store and ask for natural ways....a half hour walk does wonders, in a big park even better....if you can't leave the house, start a yoga practice from Babaji's Kriya Yoga (it's gentle and effective)....start a journal, be brutally honest and make sure to keep it in a safe place....processing change takes time.....all the best to you!
Hadnuff, I know when I first started taking a prescription med for take the edge off, I was surprised I had to combine it with an anti-depressant. It can take some trial and error to find the right mix. I know I had to go through 3 sets of different meds before finding something that did help.
And I also do talk therapy with a woman who is around my age who had to deal with an aging Mom a few years ago, so she really does understand :)
I agree that getting out of the habit of negative thinking helps. Negative thinking produces anxiety. When everything is urgent, nothing is urgent.
Knowing the difference between wants and needs, between something being essential and "would be nice", takes practice. Learning to say "no" and "not right now" will help you to manage expectations, both yours and those of others.
And ask questions of people who are demanding too much of you. Many people, including health care workers, will have unrealistic expectations of you. Push back and be frank about what you can and cannot do, what your limitations are, and what the reality of your situation is.
Finally, Xanax can take the edge of when things really do all bubble over.
Does all this sound realistic/doable? You have friends on this forum. We are pulling for you!
Meds alone will not fix it. You have to recognize the stress triggers, the dark obsessions and redirect your thoughts to happier times and places. One way to do that is to move him to professional care so you can breathe.
Hadnuff, I have been following your posts and all you need to do for your hubby who had a stroke.
Have you had a chance to finally see your primary doctor and try to gets some type of prescription to help take the edge off? It will make a big difference in how you feel, really.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
Were you able to see the full supermoon the last three nights?
If you go outside tonight, it may still be super! Close to the earth, awesome, bigger than us and comparing our lives to nature can lift us up.
The moon appears calm...but close-up it may not be so....kind of like our problems close-up. If we step away, talk to someone....how are you feeling today?
What does his doctor and your doctor think of how things are going and how you are having so much distress? Do you think your level of mental distress would be less if you didn't have so many demands for your husband's around the clock care?
Are there any other options that might lighten your load and still provide your husband excellent care?
And take each moment and each task and difficulty and each meal and everything else, one moment at a time. Give it your full attention.
Go outside for a few minutes and take deep breaths...it changes reality and renews you.
Before going on scripts, try your local health food store and ask for natural ways....a half hour walk does wonders, in a big park even better....if you can't leave the house, start a yoga practice from Babaji's Kriya Yoga (it's gentle and effective)....start a journal, be brutally honest and make sure to keep it in a safe place....processing change takes time.....all the best to you!
And I also do talk therapy with a woman who is around my age who had to deal with an aging Mom a few years ago, so she really does understand :)
Knowing the difference between wants and needs, between something being essential and "would be nice", takes practice. Learning to say "no" and "not right now" will help you to manage expectations, both yours and those of others.
And ask questions of people who are demanding too much of you. Many people, including health care workers, will have unrealistic expectations of you. Push back and be frank about what you can and cannot do, what your limitations are, and what the reality of your situation is.
Finally, Xanax can take the edge of when things really do all bubble over.
Does all this sound realistic/doable? You have friends on this forum. We are pulling for you!
Go to your psychiatrist and ask for your dosages to be reviewed. You are under a lot of stress, Barbara. You deserve good medical care.
Have you had a chance to finally see your primary doctor and try to gets some type of prescription to help take the edge off? It will make a big difference in how you feel, really.