Can siblings legally stop me from putting our father into care when I am his primary caregiver?

LaGorda, maybe we got sidetracked by the legal terms?

Rather than IF you can move your Father, have you already decided to? Have set the wheels in motion & seeking advice if Brother can stop you?

I don't know your laws, but children withholding a parent's money needed for care is so common that I'm sure there is a way to take the POA away from your brother, or force him to pay a facility. Can you contact a lawyer? I would get your dad into a facility as soon as possible. They may even have advice for how to handle this.

My brother also wanted to protect his inheritance. He actually looked at Mom's money that way. ????? What I did was just tell my brother one day that I couldn't take care of her anymore, train any more caregivers to be there when I was at work, and that I had found a good assisted living place for her where I could still visit every day. I told him what it would cost Mom and could he come sign the papers? He did. He never visited her there and died a year before she died.

Ah, that little detail about you being in Australia would have been useful to mention since the term guardianship in America usually refers to having someone formally declared incompetent by the court.
Yours is a common problem when one person holds the purse strings and another is in charge of healthcare decisions. I think the resolution is in the understanding that having the authority to make decisions in no way obligates you to do any actual hands on caregiving, maybe it's time your father took a little vacation to visit your brother and his family for a few weeks, I like Beaty's suggestion of you taking your own holiday and being unavailable....

I call this *The Injury Test*.

What would happen if you broke your leg? Couldn't drive, just couldn't hobble around on crutches & look after your Father?

What would POA Brother likely do?

- Take your Father to his home?
- Hire Support Workers?
- Locate & pay for a bed for your Father in assisted living for respite (until you were able bodied again).

(Please don't break your leg to test this out!)

Basically, if you were UNABLE what then?

Next is *The Holiday Test*
You have every right to go on holiday btw. Whatever suits your inclinatuon & budget.

What if.. Hi Bro, just letting you know I'll be away in Sep on a 3 weeks Pacific Ocean cruise. Can't wait! So what care arrangements can we (as a family) make for Dad?

Lastly *The Quit Test*.
When a caregiver quits, the
care plan HAS to be changed.

Thoughts?

PS My Aged Care Plan.
Does Dad have one?

Your brother is the POA. You are the caregiver. You have done more than your share.

Tell your brother explicitly that you are giving notice as your father’s caregiver.

Whatever needs to be done to remove your father from your home, do it.

Your brother is POA, so it is his responsibility to figure it out.

Were you paid for your services or did your brother expect you to do everything for free? This is when I bet that you wish that you were an only child.

I hope that you will find a viable solution soon. I would ask your brother if he will be picking up your dad or if he needs you to drop him off.

POA, Guardianship & Conservatorship are legal titles that come with legal terms.

Primary Caregiver is more of a social title I guess? While it can & should carry much respect & doesn't being much 'power'.

You have human rights to freedom.
No-one has the right, ever, to en-slave you.

In fact, the Universal Declaration of Human Rights explicitly references slavery, stating in Article 4: No one shall be held in slavery or servitude.

Therefore, as Primary Caregiver you may not have the power to transfer your Dad into a care home.. you don't have to continue to be his caregiver.

Does this make sense?

Because my brother is a greedy parasite who hates me.

I do not know what you mean about being "my fathers enduring guardian".
If you are talking about LEGAL Guardianship/conservatorship then you are solely in charge.
If you are simply the caregiver, why do you not have a care contract for shared living expenses?

You have taken your father into your home.
At that point you have made it YOUR HOME.
You are an apparently unpaid slave as a caregiver while your brother holds the reins.

It is time to tell brother that you will be seeing an elder law attorney now to advise you on a care contract and/or placement.

Another way to go is to get together your docs who can write that you are not longer mentally or physically able to care for your father in home. Then a letter stipulating this goes from your attorney to the POA telling him how long he has to place his father.

See an attorney.

I for one am confused by your use of the terms enduring POA, guardianship and enduring guardian - a lot of people come to the forum and use the terms guardian and guardianship when that is not what they have at all, I think a visit with your lawyer is in order so you can be clear what your duties and responsibilities are.

It all depends on how the guardianship reads. Usually when this is done the person requesting gets full control. POAs become revolked. But I guess u can get guardianship without conservatorship?

You need to tell brother you no longer can care for Dad. His needs are too much. No one can be forced to care for someone. If he does not take over then call APS. Tell them you can no longer care for Dad and the POA refuses to use Dads money for his care.

If you don’t have control of your father’s money , I don’t see how you can put him in care to begin with .

Do not sign anything as guarantor making you responsible for your father’s bills .

Tell your brother who does hold the purse strings that you can no longer care for Dad . You may have to actually leave Dad on your brother’s doorstep to get him to place Dad .

The term 'Primary Caregiver' is not a legal term and it does not give a person legal authority to make decisions for another.

If you have POA (Power of Attorney) or legally-appointed conservatorship/guardianship of your father, this gives you the legal authority to have him placed in care, to administer his money and assets, and to make his medical decisions.

I was an in-home caregiver for 25 years by profession to more people than I can remember. Often times I was someone's "primary caregiver". It means nothing other than you're the one responsible to meet the needs of the person and you do all of the work, or at least the lion's share of it. You have no legal authority over the person you're taking care of.

So yes, if you do not have your father's POA or there's no conservatorship/guardianship not only can your siblings legally stop you from placing your father, your father can legally stop you too.