She put her name on the checking and savings and got the POA after a Dime TIA diagnosis. Mom basically starved to death and was not eating but somehow spent $300 on a Thanksgiving dinner we were not invited to.
A POA is GIVEN, not "got". Your Mom MADE you sister her POA when she was mentally functioning and able to confer this duty. Then the sister, yes, would be on her accounts as POA, both her checking and savings and would manage these accounts as part of the fiduciary duties of a POA. How YOU, who are NOT POA have access to this information, I cannot imagine, but you claim to have it. I assume by "Mom basically starved to death and was not eating" you mean that your mother was in her last days, likely with hospice on board, and was unable to take nutritional sustenance. Because you say "to death" I assume that your Mom has now died. I am sorry for your loss if this is the case. I would imagine, as you Mom trusted your Sister enough to give her the POA, that she ALSO made the sister her executor, as this is how these things go. I would get some help if I were you in handling your emotions in your loss and your grief. I wish you the very best. But do know that members of the Forum do not know you, your sister, your mom or what happened throughout the last years of Mom's life, and we are completely without the ability to judge who is "right" and who is "wrong". I wish you again, healing and peace and a lifting of grief with memories of the good times to sustain you.
A TIA diagnosis does not get you a POA. As said Mom has to assign sister prior to being declared incompetent unless the POA was immediate. The best way to assign a POA is thru a lawyer but as said, it can be done by printing the forms from a State website. I just read one and was surprised how much they cover but still need witnesses and notary to finalize it. I prefer a lawyer doing it.
To put her name on Moms accounts the Bank must have felt the POA was valid. Banks are usually sticklers when it comes to POAs.
I am assuming Mom has passed since u wrote "starved to death". Do you live elsewhere than Mom so were not aware that she was not eating. Was that because of abuse by your sister?
No sister cannot use Dads if he is the only name on the card. My DH and I share a credit card. Then u have authorize user. Did Mom share the card or was an authorize user? Unless it was by phone, not sure how sister could use it if not on the card. Some places want to see ID and if card has Dads name on it, she should not be allowed to use it. No she can't make personal purchases and then use Moms money to pay for them.
If Mom is gone, sisters POA stopped at death. It depends on how Moms accts were set up to who gets the money. Did Mom have a Will, who is the Executor? That person is now in control and needs to make sure they abide by the Will. If no will, then someone needs to get to Probate (my State can't do anything till 9 or 10 days after death) and become administrator of Moms estate. That person will have the same duties of of an Executor the difference is the State determines who are the beneficiaries.
If a Will, the Executor needs to abide by it. It both instances an accounting needs to be done and that is when you contest anything u don't agree with. Also, if you are executor or Administrator you can ask for an accting of how the POA spent Moms money. If sister used Moms money for herself, I would deduct it from her inheritance.
Dads card, if you are privy to the Bank who issued the card, know the number and can get a copy of Dads death certificate, I would call the bank and tell them Dad died and the card is being used. Even if you only know the bank, call them. They maybe able to call up his name and address. Having his SS# would be good. They may be able to put the card on hold until you can confirm his death. When sister calls to find out why the card is on hold, she will be asked to put Dad on the phone. If she puts someone else on the phone, they will need to know the answer to security questions and maybe Dads SS#. If they can't verify, then the card will stay on hold. Did Dad have a Will? Because the Executor should have made sure the credit company was notified of Dads death.
I think if Mom is gone you will just need to allow the Executor to take over. Hopefully thats not this sister. If so, like I said you can contest the accting. To the point that the POA may need to prove how Moms money was used.
Are you sayiing your sister didn't get the PoA legally? She can't "get" it for your Father or Mother unless the lawyer deems them competent and they voluntarily assigned her (or they did an online form and then had it finalized with a notary and witnesses).
If she is the legitmate DPoA then her name would be on their banking in order to manage their affairs. If you suspect abuse, then you need to take your hard evidence to a lawyer and discuss what you wish to do about it. Then you will need to pay the lawyer.
Obviously, your sister should not use anyone else’s credit card without permission, let alone a dead father’s card. If she also misused your mom’s money, of course this was wrong too.
Care to share more details? Are you asking what you should do now? Are you just venting? I’m sure that you know that your sister’s behavior was wrong.
How YOU, who are NOT POA have access to this information, I cannot imagine, but you claim to have it.
I assume by "Mom basically starved to death and was not eating" you mean that your mother was in her last days, likely with hospice on board, and was unable to take nutritional sustenance. Because you say "to death" I assume that your Mom has now died. I am sorry for your loss if this is the case.
I would imagine, as you Mom trusted your Sister enough to give her the POA, that she ALSO made the sister her executor, as this is how these things go.
I would get some help if I were you in handling your emotions in your loss and your grief. I wish you the very best. But do know that members of the Forum do not know you, your sister, your mom or what happened throughout the last years of Mom's life, and we are completely without the ability to judge who is "right" and who is "wrong".
I wish you again, healing and peace and a lifting of grief with memories of the good times to sustain you.
To put her name on Moms accounts the Bank must have felt the POA was valid. Banks are usually sticklers when it comes to POAs.
I am assuming Mom has passed since u wrote "starved to death". Do you live elsewhere than Mom so were not aware that she was not eating. Was that because of abuse by your sister?
No sister cannot use Dads if he is the only name on the card. My DH and I share a credit card. Then u have authorize user. Did Mom share the card or was an authorize user? Unless it was by phone, not sure how sister could use it if not on the card. Some places want to see ID and if card has Dads name on it, she should not be allowed to use it. No she can't make personal purchases and then use Moms money to pay for them.
If Mom is gone, sisters POA stopped at death. It depends on how Moms accts were set up to who gets the money. Did Mom have a Will, who is the Executor? That person is now in control and needs to make sure they abide by the Will. If no will, then someone needs to get to Probate (my State can't do anything till 9 or 10 days after death) and become administrator of Moms estate. That person will have the same duties of of an Executor the difference is the State determines who are the beneficiaries.
If a Will, the Executor needs to abide by it. It both instances an accounting needs to be done and that is when you contest anything u don't agree with. Also, if you are executor or Administrator you can ask for an accting of how the POA spent Moms money. If sister used Moms money for herself, I would deduct it from her inheritance.
Dads card, if you are privy to the Bank who issued the card, know the number and can get a copy of Dads death certificate, I would call the bank and tell them Dad died and the card is being used. Even if you only know the bank, call them. They maybe able to call up his name and address. Having his SS# would be good. They may be able to put the card on hold until you can confirm his death. When sister calls to find out why the card is on hold, she will be asked to put Dad on the phone. If she puts someone else on the phone, they will need to know the answer to security questions and maybe Dads SS#. If they can't verify, then the card will stay on hold. Did Dad have a Will? Because the Executor should have made sure the credit company was notified of Dads death.
I think if Mom is gone you will just need to allow the Executor to take over. Hopefully thats not this sister. If so, like I said you can contest the accting. To the point that the POA may need to prove how Moms money was used.
If she is the legitmate DPoA then her name would be on their banking in order to manage their affairs. If you suspect abuse, then you need to take your hard evidence to a lawyer and discuss what you wish to do about it. Then you will need to pay the lawyer.
Obviously, your sister should not use anyone else’s credit card without permission, let alone a dead father’s card. If she also misused your mom’s money, of course this was wrong too.
Care to share more details? Are you asking what you should do now? Are you just venting? I’m sure that you know that your sister’s behavior was wrong.