Mom is very physically fit, vital and well groomed at 86, yet her dementia requires supervision. I relocated to live with and care for her 1 yr ago,and have now found a part-time job, requiring additional "mom care" 5-10 days/month. She is too high functioning for locked "day care", and the "bridge" precursor we visited today was too depressing for mom - the folks there did appear to lack vitality and attention to appearance, and mom felt very strongly that they were not people she wanted to befriend. We can't afford private in-home help - any ideas when family/friends can't help? Thanks.
A complicating factor is that I am unhappy in FL, and if we decide to take the step to an ALF in a year or so I hope to bring mom with me back to CA and do it there. I learned on my recent trip that with the support of my community there I will be a better caregiver - happier and with more potential for longevity in the role. I will try to plan time to evaluate ALF's in-person there on my next trip.
One thing you might do is talk to a director and an ALF. Ask them what happens when a senior's income cannot quite cover their expenses. Some will switch over to Medicaid when that happens. (I know that there is one ALF in our area that does that). Or they accept whatever the resident can pay. These places do not want empty rooms. Because of the nature of their business, there is high turnover.
You will most likely find that in-home care is less expensive. Many companies will discount their hourly rate since you need weekly care. But it does take supervision of the staff, etc.
One other question: Was either of your parents a veteran? There is the Aid and Attendance benefit if they were. Let me know and I can give you more info about it.
Your instincts are correct about not placing your Mom in a memory care unit. These are usually for advanced cases or for folks who "wander."
Good luck. It took me a loooong time to find the right place, but it has worked out.
Oh this one also has a dementia unit when she gets worse. Check for that as well. They know what to watch for and how to care for there needs.