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I have ansered alot of questions but never aked one. My mother lives with me 75 really needs a nursing home, was turned down 6 months ago saying she didn't i say she does,now to top it off she has been gifting me momey every month, soon to be ex said i could count most of it as rent He is an adulter, I can't work, I am between a rock and a hard place. I am afraid if i count it as rent, he will put claim to it, any suggestions, please

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Hi Emma, it's Tuesday and I've been waiting to hear back from ypu. That link I sent you wasn't everything I wanted to help you with. I'm concerned. I hope you're all right. Is there anything I can do? If the idea of a phone call made you uncomfortable, we can go back to the email. Plez let me know.
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PS "so he can NOT take some I meant"
sorry
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Seriously, go to a lawyer, first visit is usually free and you need expert advice. You might be able to claim it as Caregiving Money for you only, not rent, so he can take some. Get the right advice and your Mom will pay for what needs to be done. So what if she spends her money, its her money to spend and for her best of care. If you two made out a caregivers contract, you could take care of her as your paid job and keep her home. Lots to think about, how does she feel about it all? Good luck
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Contact the Healthcare consortium in your area, they will assess your mom and decide how much care she needs then you can apply at a home health care company to be a preferred worker. This means you work for a company that pays you to take care of mom. You are already doing it, so get paid for it. When my dad came to us I could no longer work (he has dementia) so I was able to stay at home with him. without much financial stress on my family. Also contact the Dept. on Aging they will direct you to their legal dept. where you can get free advice and free legal representation if necessary. Good luck. P.S. on a side note, get rid of that jerk, he's cheating ,lying, and stealing from old ladies,let her have him.
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It would probably be very worthwhile to contact an elder care attorney, because if the gifting was not counted as rent, then it could result in a penalty period before Medicaid would kick in for nursing home costs. I would think if a home was owned by you you could legitimately collect the rent, but community property laws could be tricky too. Hope you have protected accounts that only your name is on that your income goes into, and hope this works out for you and mom better than it sounds!
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she cannot afford assisted living, and he is going to try and leave me broke, i could prove the adultry but then if i try to get medicaid to help with a nursing home and the money is counted as rent, it may become comuntiy property in nc, not sure, account has always been only in my name
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This could be a bit tricky. I have some ideas to share but first the necessity of a couple of personal questions that would be better kept private.
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If your mother was turned down for a nursing home, perhaps she could still qualify for assisted living? They may have different criteria for accepting residents. Also, you may not want to let your current significant other know about any future financial information. Maybe you can put the money in a burial fund for your mother if you need to keep it away from him. It's tough to have different things going on at once. Maybe you can also get some in-home care. That would give you some relief. Good luck; I hope things work out.
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Can you and your mother move out and share a place of your own?
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