Why do I feel so resistant to the needs of my elderly mother as a caregiver? Ever since my stepfather passed away my mother has come to rely on me and my husband more than I would like. I wish I did not feel this way considering I always enjoyed tending to the needs of my children. I am a empty nester now and love my freedom and independence. The thought of taking on the responsibility of my mother at this stage of my life makes me feel I am losing the life I wanted when my children became adults. I am not resistent to helping her, just to becoming her caregiver. She has a very emotionally needy codependent personality.
She gets all her food cooked exactly the way she wants it, her bedding is changed daily, she is bathed, her diapers are changed daily, she has no financial worries. She won't go anywhere or do anything but sit on the couch and then complain she is bored. She wants to sleep all day and be up all night. And when she doesn't get her way, she hits, kicks, now even the cat when he wants to leave her petting. Where is YOUR thinking going on this????? I, the CAREGIVER, am the one being hit, abused, up all night. What kind of life is this for me???????? To answer your question, social workers have said that if I call the police to report her violence, they will do nothing about removing her from the house because of her age. I hope YOU get to care for someone like this. Then maybe you will have a clue.
Medicaid diversion prgram - they divert money & transfer assets so the person qualifies for Medicaid. That's what we did with a wonderful, wonderful woman - her name is Maureen & she's been a Godsend. Oh, & BTW, there are no "right" or "wrong" feelings here - it is what it is & everyone's feelings, even the so-called "ugly" ones, need to be expressed. Feelings are feelings.