I just joined this forum tonight as I cannot sleep. I have been living with my grandparents for nearly 4 years. On August 15th, my grandmother (89) woke up with severe stomach pains. My husband, grandfather and I insisted she go to the ER to check it out. Turned out she had a perforated ulcer in her small intestine and she needed immediate surgery. After the surgery she was brought to ICU where she stayed until the 26th. The surgeon also informed me at the time of her surgery that she has stage 4 colon cancer. Everyday in the hospital it seemed she was getting better. Then they transferred her to a rehabilitation center. At first it seemed she was getting better. We had discussed her possibly returning home on Sept. 15th. Then things started sliding downhill in literally days, if you saw her early this week and then today you would not know she's the same person. She's been having a lot of issues catching her breath. She has adema, and a heart condition. The nurse informed me today that she had somewhat of a panic attack last night and again this morning due to being short of breath. She is on oxygen, yet her respiratory level is that of someone who is exercising. She asked me if they could call hospice. I accepted. I have a meeting with them tomorrow.
I am scared, stressed and upset. My grandfather is a wreck. They've been married for almost 70 years. I also work full time and have two children myself. (15 & 5)
When I saw her today she was barely eating, my grandfather was spoon feeding her chocolate ice cream. That is the only thing she touched on her plate. She didn't look like herself. It's so hard to see her like this. I have always been very close to her, she practically raised me.
I just don't understand how she can be fine one day, smiling with me and telling me to tell the kids to "Have fun outside while they can" to how she was today.
She barely acknowledged us today, but did look at us a bit, but like you said it seems as if she is not really there. My uncle died too 15 years ago from a freak accident. He was their first child. So I keep thinking that she'll get to see him again, as well as her mom and all the other loved ones that have gone already. Right now I am trying to make sure I notify everyone in the family so they can be prepared and say goodbye if they wish. We're trying to find a way to get my out of state family here, including my mom.
I sincerely hope that when it is my husband's time to leave this earth, or mine, we can go very quickly, without lingering for months and months, in pain, and not ourselves.
Seventy years of marriage! Amazing. Your grandfather has a lot to be thankful for. My heart goes out to you and to him and to your grandmother in this very difficult time.