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Competent or not, a debit card is a really bad idea, because when money is taken out, it's gone -- the bank won't be refunding it unless under very specific circumstances.

It would far better to have a credit card if absolutely necessary, because there's a statement at the end of the month and you can dispute fraudulent charges.

If Mom has any dementia at all, I'd be calling her bank and telling them, then doing what you can to cancel those cards and freeze her credit.
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Just a story here. As I have said before, I worked for a Visiting Nurse Assoc. I received a call one day from a son of a Client. He wanted to know if his Mom gave money to one of the nurses. He gave me the impression he thought the Nurse had stolen it. I told him I would have the Depthead call him when she got back. She did and he did accuse the nurse. My boss then said that his Mom was perfectly able, in mind and body to cross the street to the bank. Walk in and have the teller make out a withdrawal slip for $50 and hand the money to his Mom. That her nurses would never except money from a client. He called back later and confirmed what the DH said. His Mom had gotten a friend to take her to the bank. Seems his Mom had recently gave him POA and he was taking it a little too far since she had no Dementia.
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Since the OP put this 'question' under the Alzheimer's & Dementia category, I assume the mother has dementia and that's why she's upset the debit card was given to her.

To the OP, putting a bit of a question in a header won't get you solid answers. You may want to expand your question & provide more details so we're not assuming anything.
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NeedHelpWithMom Apr 2021
Good point. Dementia changes everything.

I don’t understand about the different stages of dementia and ALZ. I would have to read more about how quickly it progresses.

My mother was diagnosed with only mild dementia much later in her life.

My godmother had severely advanced Alzheimer’s disease when she died.

I suppose that it’s an individual situation.
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Do you have a particular reason for mom not having a debit card?

What type of relationship do you have with her caregiver?

Was she instructed to run everything by you?

Who hired her? You or your mom?

Can you tell us a bit more about her circumstances?
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I think the issue of crossing boundaries or legalities turns on the purpose, as stated by others.  If it's just a trip for Mom to accomplish something, that's one thing.    If the caregiver is involved further in financial management, that's a different situation entirely.

W/o seeming rude, are you able to take your mother to the bank for whatever she needs to accomplish?
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Your profile gives no information.

So, how old is Mom? Does Mom suffer from a Dementia? Why did she feel she needed a debit card? Is the Caregiver required to take her shopping and the card is for convenience?

A POA is not in effect (unless immediate) if the principle has not been deemed incompetent to make informed decisions. If Mom in competent your POA does not come into the picture.

But, I would question why Mom feels she needs a debit card. I don't even have one and either did my Mom. So the question is, why did the Caregiver take her? If Mom does have Dementia, was this the CGs suggestion?

Are you on Moms accounts and if so do you have online excess? If so, then watch for discrepancies. Is she spending way more at the Supermarket or Walmart than usual. Shopping places she never did before. This is if Mom is competent. You may want to ask her to save receipts because she is now using a Debit card.

Now if Mom is incompetent and your POA is in effect, yes this was wrong for the Caregiver to take her to the bank. You need to call the bank and tell them that no purchases should be made using that card. Ask if more than one copy was issued. Then you need to get the card/s and shred them. Inform the Caregiver because you handle Moms finances there is no need to drive Mom to the bank. If she is an agency aide I would report this to her supervisor.
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If she is not participating with banker, but merely providing services there, then this should not be a problem. It would be the same as taking her anywhere else she wants or needs to go.
If your Mom has dementia then it is up to YOU to protect that account that is hers, with you as POA. You should be putting excess funds into CDs (though they will surely earn little) and keeping Mom a small spending account. My brother actually ASKED me to do this and it worked very well. That account you will make with your Mom with her name, you as her POA, and with a POD, so that person can access it at once when the Death Certificates arrive. That works to pay funeral expenses when Mom passes.
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Certainly it isn't out of line if mother asked the caregiver to take her. If mother is legally incompetent and her finances are now in the hands of her POA, it's for the bank to refuse the application (with all courtesy) and inform the POA.

Why did mother want a debit card on this occasion?
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It's perfectly legal unless mom has been ruled incompetent or is unable to make her own decisions. You don't give us enough story. Does she know what she's (your mom) doing? Why does she have a caregiver? Why a debit card? Do you think the caregiver will financially abuse her?
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