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Dear zombie, get a POA for medical n financisl so that you can make good caregiving decisions for your dad and yourself.
If brother isnt helping he shouldnt have a say.
YOU were born beautiful. God made you. You are one of a kind and He loves you very much. You are the apple of His eye. If you want to know all the great things He feels toward you read His word, it'll give you peace n comfort in these hard times.
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I am also dealing with grief about the changes and future - Christmas is so loaded with memories - and with a very stressful sibling conflict. I am determined to start taking some type of exercise class and pay someone to come in so that I can again enjoy some activities. I also have come to the decision that I will have to go no contact as some point with siblings. My mental health is important to me and I am determined to look after myself even if no one seems to care one way or another. Toxic people are not healthy and a waste of time.

To everyone on the site, looking after loved ones and doing the best you can, I wish you Peace, Health, Prosperity and Joy this season.
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Zombie, I got married at 40. Please don't count yourself out. You're young and a beautiful person to be doing what you're doing.
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Cinderella, Great post. I didn't take of myself until recently. Wish I had done it sooner. But, I'm working on it everyday.
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I do have financial and health POA's for my father. That doesn't stop him or my brother from disagreeing with me. My father's still my father so I can't go against him. He can override his own POA. My brother, well, if I go against him, I could lose my brother. I at least get a verbal fight. Christine, glad you found happiness but I bet you had dates and friends before you were 40. At 44, I've never once been asked on a date. As a young adult, I would watch people flirt with my late mother, even guys my own age but they turned away from me. I am what I am.
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Zombie, Do take care of yourself. It's good for you as well as those for whom you provide care. My great aunt died 18 mos ago. Her youngest and unmarried daughter had lived with and had taken care of her for 12 years. The last four she was completely bedridden. Kay is 63 and up until her Mom died she had never had a date. She met a man at her mother's funeral (he had driven his mother). His mother died shortly after. He and my cousin have been dating since then. So there is hope.
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Your Mom and Dad fostered a very compassionate, sensitive, hopeful, encouraging, kind and caring young lady ~ YOU. Yes, we've all taken paths or made choices that brought us unsavory fruits. She didn't fail you in the matters of the heart, and thank you for sharing that beautiful spirit, reminding us that there are other things in life available to us and we don't need to "give up" caring physically, financially, etc., for our loved ones. Look forward to the ball, Cinderella ~ the ashes will always need tending. My Mom passed ~ and she is all i had in the world: she was bed ridden, but for all of my life, she's my best friend, travel companion, room mate, and so much more. i miss her and that is absolutely unbearable. The tidal waves of grief cut me to the quick, like an undertow, when i'm least expecting it. Continue to LIVE with empathy, joy and gusto. i do hope you write that book ~ i'll be the first in line to get a copy. Blessings to you ~
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Zombie, you say My brother, well, if I go against him, I could lose my brother. It sounds like your brother is worthless now - AND a negative in your life. I say "lose him!" You are only 44. That is like 34 in today's world. I know it's hard to dig out of a pit, but please use the opportunity of a fresh start in a new year - plus the support here - to take a baby step toward reclaiming a life for you. I know it sounds impossible - like everything is against you - but take one little step, and then another, and then another to support yourself. Treat yourself with the kindness and encouragement you would give to anyone on this forum. It's not a cliche: You are beautiful. Act like it!
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What a wonderful post. Thank you for sharing. I too have recently decided that 2017 I need to begin focusing on my own health but you have truly gone above and beyond to try and life a healthy life to the fullest. Great Job!
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