I'm just wondering...does anyone else ever feel like other relationships are suddenly too emotionally draining? Like your emotional well has run dry? Or you don't have the emotional stamina to deal with certain people / situations ? Almost...almost like certain people or situations take too much of the emotional reserve that you currently have left to give?
I went so far as to delete my siblings from my FB, I deleted my son and his friends and well, basically, I deleted my entire family. Why? I did NOT want to see all the fun they were having (especially my two older brothers who live 15 mins away) I felt such resentment towards them and everything they got to do and I can't even get a few hours a week respite from them. What I don't know won't hurt me, especially in this regard.
Wishing everyone the best!
In difficult times like this,I recall my father's words of wisdom..."Like a large and uncomfortable kidney stone...this too shall pass!"
I've also been dealing with the realization that I have been living with a feeling of shame during my life. I wondered how many other people who become caregivers for their parents have a shame-based personality. I imagine that many people who were raised by narcissistic or neglectful parents do. I've often wondered why I am here, and wonder if the feeling that I owe something to the world has something to do with it.
All this was brought on by something that happened two days ago. My mother said that if she hadn't taken me in, I'd be out on the streets. That was a strange statement because I'm here after her pleading for 5-10 years and me getting a divorce. I have retirement savings when time comes to tap into it, so money is not an issue with me. I'm not rich or poor, just one that will squeak by. I also work from home, but she says it isn't a REAL job. Sheesh! For some reason she needs to make me feel shame, and it made me realize how much this has hurt me during my life... and how it probably set me up for being her caregiver while my brothers are enjoying their lives.
But everyday is a new start. Sometimes we have to realize what has happened before we can make it change. Sorry to hijack the thread. I am so bad to ramble.
Facebook is a giant brag page - yuk!!
Of course no one likes to look at other people's "so called" perfect lives. It's all a mirage - not healthy and It makes people hate each other.
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