As a family caregiver, we shoulder the lion's share of the responsibility and take it upon ourselves to provide care and support for our loved ones and be there in their time of need. How is one supposed to know when it's the right time to allow "others" in and seek the help of home care services and not feel terrible about not doing it all myself? I would really love to hear how others have approached this dilemma and gain their insights.
I have someone come in on weekends (when I'm at work) for 6 hours each day to help with him (bathing, walking, feeding etc.) and to help my mom with light chores or just give her a break to sleep.
It's a good combo of us and someone else taking care of him so we don't burn out / lose my job.
There is financial aid available through the Alzheimer's foundation, Veterans Orgs. if the person was ever in the service and/or check with Medicare/Medicaid -- sometimes it's covered depending on the financial situation.
Interviewing agencies: google your area, interview several over the phone (first impressions are very helpful even in the initial conversation) and make sure they are insured, bonded and licensed and their home care workers have some medical background and make a list of questions. Any agency worth their salt will come to the home for an interview with you and your loved one -- that's how you weed out the good from the bad.
Think of it as a necessity not a luxury.
All the best from one caregiver to another.
Kathy
Please get some help and spent time with your husband, you will be better for it, really. A my Mom's doctor said, with the great care we give our parents at home, they will live a very long time, we have to live our lives at least 1 full day a week. Good Luck.
Even if you don't work, nobody can be there 24/7. It is absolutely in your loved one's best interest to get help.
Dad has made a turn for the worse and hospice started 1 week ago. My dad has been a two person transfer for some time. That;'s why I'm tired! We also started having our caregiver come for 3 hours every monring during the week to start the day with dad. Weekends we take care of him. Of course, the rest of each day is our care also. His dillusions are increasing with trying to get out of bed, anxious over things he thinks he needs to do. Last night my husband slept in a chair in his room. We found great CNA's on a list from the Central Oregon Council On Aging.
Very helpful and the caregivers have been screened. Somewhat cheaper than an agency also. You wouldn't think 3 hours would hellp but when she gets here at 8:30 in the mornings I can do other things after I help her with pericare. Hospice sends out an aide on bath day and they work together and Medicare picks up the second aide. Our day away someimtes seems like such an effort to make but once we get in the car we feel refreshed. Try to find a organization that helps the aging and see what they have to offer. If money is no object then and angency would be greast. My husband and I are 76 and 78 so we are getting up there also. We also found that through his MD we could place an order for an evaluation of his strength, health, etc and then we had therapy, nurses, and all the imformation to help us. Medicare picked it up for two months. That's how we found out about the Parkinson's and that he wasn't just frail due to age. They were a great boost to us. Hope you can find some agencies in your area to help. My dad smiled when I told him he didn't have to pay for some of this. Our daily caregiver is paid by us. Keeps our spirits up when she comes in all smiles and spends time with him.
Good luck.