My situation is unlike many of yours, as I am working as a caregiver 35 hours per week, and am not caring for a family member. I am a young guy in my 20s, and sort of stumbled on to this job, which I am working four days a week (Monday-Thursday) while I take classes at night.
I am a caregiver for a woman in her 40s who was paralyzed in a car accident many years ago. Her mind is sharp, but she doesn’t have much physical mobility and is in a wheelchair. My responsibilities including bowel care, showering and dressing duties, transfer to the wheelchair, meals, and general tasks of everyday living. Her husband works during the day, and he is with her in the evenings and at night.
My problem is the micromanagement. While she is a sweet lady, I think she feels like she must be in control every moment. Her husband indicated that this was true, but I didn’t know that it would be at this level. She instructs me in quite a bit of detail, for example, on how to get applesauce out of a jar, how to make a sandwich, etc. There are also cases where, if I have to help her vacuum, she’ll follow me around the room pointing out each little piece of dust to vacuum up.
I’ve been doing this for about a year and a half, and I really need the money for a while longer, but I’m starting to crack a bit. I know it’s not her fault. Is it the nature of the job? Or is it possible she is a bit too overbearing? Thanks for your advice.
Caregiving can be really thankless at times... and exhausting. What is required, in part, is to step back and see the bigger picture. This woman can only control life around her, as her body is very limited.
BTW, what a gem you are to serve this paralyzed woman!!