It carries over to my own feelings of aging and no one able to help me if I’m incapacitated without abusing me. Sorry for this odd question. Remove if inappropriate.
It's past time to get your mother placed into Assisted Living or Skilled Nursing if you're suicidal after many years of caregiving. You are beyond stressed out and in need of releasing yourself from this overwhelming burden. Nowhere is it written that a daughter 'must' provide the hands-on caregiving for her mother for years & years & years! There is nothing at all wrong with placing a loved one into managed care and visiting them there in the role of a daughter instead of a caregiver. It's okay to surrender and cry uncle, too, recognizing your limitations and when you've reached your breaking point.
As far as 'no one able to help me if I’m incapacitated without abusing me', I don't understand that statement, so I cannot address it. My mother has been in AL and now Memory Care since 2014 and nobody has been 'abusing her' in any way, shape or form.
Please call the Suicide Hotline like Slartibartfast suggested & provided the number for, and consider getting therapy to address your concerns & anxieties in general. We all need some help from time to time, even medications, and there's nothing wrong with asking for such help. As human beings, we're all fragile and strong at the same time and need to know when to reach out to the appropriate professionals. Start with your primary care doctor for a referral.
Sounds like you might be quite burnt out and need a break! Get yourself some assistance ASAP. Caretaking is HARD!
Get some therapy for yourself to help you deal with your feelings and CALL someone if you are every feeling truly suicidal. It's nothing to fool around with. Take it seriously.
Get out for a walk. Do something fun. Get in the sun. Pet a dog. Listen to music that you love.
Caregiving is very hard and stressful. I feel quite overwhelmed at times with all the responsibility that I have. I would seek a good theripist to help you through this difficlt time in your life. There is always home care, decent facility if the need comes about. I know quite a few people who are single, widowed and take care of themselves or hire caregivers, handyman, housekeeping services, meals on wheels to help them and when they no longer can care for themselves. There is always a solution. Try to live one day at a time and not worry about what might be. We might not be here torrow any of us. I do believe in preparing for old age but not to the point of getting depressed for something that may not happen. I will never allow anyone to take care of me.I plan on staying in my home as long as I can take care of myself and when the time comes and I can't take care of myself any longer I plan on going to a clean decent facility where the professionials can care for me. My niece tells me she will care for me but that is out of the question. She would drive me crazy with her pampering and all and bossiness. Love her but she will not be my caregiver.
Exactly. My cousin & her DH moved into a senior complex where they're independent now, but cared for until death by paying an upfront 'buy-in' cost. They have no children and have wisely prepared for their old age in the best way possible, with no anxiety involved whatsoever.
I think that's a perfectly normal feeling when you feel utterly trapped in any situation, just as your fears about your future are appropriate. In the near future some counselling would probably benefit you but right now you can call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 800-273-8255 and talk to someone who can listen to you without judgement.
As far as 'no one able to help me if I’m incapacitated without abusing me', I don't understand that statement, so I cannot address it. My mother has been in AL and now Memory Care since 2014 and nobody has been 'abusing her' in any way, shape or form.
Please call the Suicide Hotline like Slartibartfast suggested & provided the number for, and consider getting therapy to address your concerns & anxieties in general. We all need some help from time to time, even medications, and there's nothing wrong with asking for such help. As human beings, we're all fragile and strong at the same time and need to know when to reach out to the appropriate professionals. Start with your primary care doctor for a referral.
Best of luck.
Get some therapy for yourself to help you deal with your feelings and CALL someone if you are every feeling truly suicidal. It's nothing to fool around with. Take it seriously.
Get out for a walk. Do something fun. Get in the sun. Pet a dog. Listen to music that you love.
Good luck!
Try to live one day at a time and not worry about what might be. We might not be here torrow any of us. I do believe in preparing for old age but not to the point of getting depressed for something that may not happen. I will never allow anyone to take care of me.I plan on staying in my home as long as I can take care of myself and when the time comes and I can't take care of myself any longer I plan on going to a clean decent facility where the professionials can care for me. My niece tells me she will care for me but that is out of the question. She would drive me crazy with her pampering and all and bossiness. Love her but she will not be my caregiver.