My father-in-law just started 24x7 home care through an agency for his 92-y.o wife who has advanced Alzheimer's. He is 91 and is completely mentally competent.
Different aides have come throughout this first week. He estimates 10 or so different ones.
He keeps cash in a desk in the living room and yesterday he reimbursed me for groceries I brought to him. I observed him open the top drawer of the desk, take out a bank cash envelope take out 2 twenties from the envelope and then place it back into the desk. On many other occasions he has done the exact same thing: go to desk -> get envelope -> pay me for groceries.
Today, he needed to pay his daughter (my sister-in-law) for something and went to get money from the envelope in the desk and the envelope was no longer there.
I'm pretty sure he has not misplaced the envelope, as he doesn't live in a cluttered house.
Our thinking right now is that one of the aides, probably the overnight one, took the money. He's called the agency to report the matter.
He estimates he had $300-$400 in the envelope. Should the police also be called to report the theft?
You wrote: "It would be very upsetting and extremely unfair to be accused of theft with no proof other than the money bag was here one day and not the next."
There is no other evidence. That's what happened: the envelope with the money disappeared. The only other family member in the house is the semi-bedridden MIL who doesn't appear to go much of anywhere in the house.
About what you said about someone who seems trustworthy but isn't. Hear that loud and clear. You just don't know. You have to secure everything with non-family coming into the house.
It is good it was reported to Agency. If you can provide them with a timeline of what days they can narrow the suspects for themselves for their own future accusations. What was the outcome with the agency? Do they vet people completely in so far as criminal records? Are people bonded? What did they recommend?
When my brother first moved to Assisted Living he was told that money cannot, must not be left in the room other than in a secured safe which they would bolt to the floor of a closet. Yet he chose to do so, tucking some money in a white envelope, several 100.00 bills, into several books he always used for the purpose stacked in the closet. Within several months he told me he had been robbed and he thought he knew who did it. I found it difficult to believe, but simply responded he must report it and we must see to it he didn't leave money in the room again as we had been warned not to. Months later he found it in some white towels below the books, in a white envelope. Said he didn't know how it could have happened. Was he interrupted when putting away or whatever. Was terrified to report it found, thinking it would be a black mark against him and be headed to memory care. While he was very "with it" I did notice his move into ALF brought on a paranoia about feeling open to being preyed upon. I am not suggesting that the confusion of many caregivers suddenly coming and going might have caused a temporary forgetfulness or distraction, because you describe him as VERY with it, and using same drawer always, but I can tell you this. I am 78 and have got to the point where I will move things for safety (recently put all electronics cords in their own baggies marked as to what they are for, kindle chargers, jitterbug charger, etc. Then put these in a tourist pottery pot in my room. In a week had forgot WHERE I put them) then forget where I moved them. Could remember doing the task, but not where I put the little charger cords. Yup, the mind is changing. Scary stuff.
I think it likely he was stolen from. Desperate people, desperate times, and just too much coming and going. Yet there is no proof. And we ALL know where it goes when an older person comes in with this story. My tendency would be to take it as one tough lesson. Get the small fire safe on Amazon and bolt it into the closet floor. Key around the neck and on you go. So sorry this happened. Makes him feel used, abused, unsafe, when the idea was to have help.
I recommend someone take FIL out for the day and then the financial PoA goes through his house with a fine tooth comb and secures all his sensitive valuables, paperwork, etc. I did this with my inlaws. I found at least 2 dozen boxes of blank checks squirreled away throughout the house. They'd stash them, then forget where and forget they ever had any and then reorder more. Their checkbook register was a disaster. This was one of the clues that they were no longer as "sharp" as they appeared to be. We knew strangers from agencies and cleaning services would be coming and going from their home, so we made sure anything "tempting" was no accessible. Before you accuse the agency or their employees, make extremely sure he had the bag in there and it had that much money in it. Elders with decline often blame others for theft that didn't occur. They don't remember they were the ones that moved the items and they'll get very upset if you insinuate it wasn't stolen. Just a heads up.
In this particular case I think I trust my FIL's reporting about what happened because of how simple this is. I.e. the money has stayed in this location and he goes there to get it to pay family who bring him groceries and medicines.
My MIL isn't bedbound, but she doesn't move around very much, having fractured her hip about 2 months ago. She pretty much stays put.
He's kicking himself that he didn't secure the money better.
The article on this forum I referenced says to contact the agency to report the suspected theft. They should be insured and highly cooperative about reimbursing him and removing the suspected caregiver from working in the house. But like I said, there have been many of them. One, in particular, seems to be a bit more regular and trustworthy. Don't know if she was on duty when the theft happened or not.
The article also says to notify the agency you intend to file a police report, which makes sense given the amount involved.