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I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
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V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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This must be terrifying. I would consider calling 911 next time and maybe the ER can start him on something and the doc will see that this crap is real and it's bad and it needs addressing a long time ago. So sorry.
About Me I am a retired R.N. We retired to AZ 10 yrs ago. My husband and I have been married 51 yrs. sounds corny, but he is the love of my life. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 6 yrs ago. But the symptoms were there before the diagnosis. Now I am watching him slip away. It is torture to watch him suffer with this disease. He is now having daily episodes of anger and wants to isolate himself. I am not finding a lot of support from his neurologist who feels a communication study program will help. I am not opposed, but this morning he locked himself in the spare bedroom for 4 hrs. How can I get him to a support communication meeting. I have asked her for something to even out his moods, but she doesn’t want to do that “yet”. In the meantime we are both suffering. Any ideas or discussion on this would be greatly appreciated
I think you need a new doctor or Neurologist for your husband. It's ludicrous that the one you have does not want to 'yet' deal with the issues the poor man is suffering from! Would she like to wait until he hurts you or himself before she addresses the elephant in the room? Ativan is a drug that helped my mother greatly when she was agitated with dementia in the later stages of disease. Agitation and anxiety are very common with AD, and things can get worse quickly, without warning. PLEASE call 911 if he gets violent, so he can be transported to the ER for a psych evaluation & meds. It's also a ridiculous thing (in my opinion) for a neurologist to suggest a 'communication study program' for the man at this point; what GOOD will that do for either one of you?? You need support which can come from an online group such as this one, from Alz.org and from in person groups that also meet, and/or Zoom meetings that also take place. There is an 800 number to call on the Alz.org site to speak to a live person who can guide you; do so asap.
It's not a good thing that your husband (DH) has the ability to lock himself in any room for any length of time. You should remove the locks from the doors to prevent that from happening in the future. Any number of accidents can happen to him while he's locked alone in a room and you don't want that.
The best thing you can do is to educate yourself about Alzheimer's to better understand what's happening to DH and what lies ahead. I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (which is a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing AD and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with Alzheimer's.
The full copy of her book is available here: https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
She also has published a workbook entitled, “It Isn’t Common Sense: Interacting with People Who Have Memory Loss Due to Dementia.”
Another good book is The 36 Hour Day (a reference type book), and Living in the Labyrinth: A Personal Journey Through the Maze of Alzheimer's (an autobiography) by Diana Friel McGowin.
Wishing you the best of luck with all you have on your plate.
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
About Me
I am a retired R.N. We retired to AZ 10 yrs ago. My husband and I have been married 51 yrs. sounds corny, but he is the love of my life. He was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s 6 yrs ago. But the symptoms were there before the diagnosis.
Now I am watching him slip away. It is torture to watch him suffer with this disease.
He is now having daily episodes of anger and wants to isolate himself.
I am not finding a lot of support from his neurologist who feels a communication study program will help. I am not opposed, but this morning he locked himself in the spare bedroom for 4 hrs. How can I get him to a support communication meeting. I have asked her for something to even out his moods, but she doesn’t want to do that “yet”. In the meantime we are both suffering.
Any ideas or discussion on this would be greatly appreciated
**************************************************************
I think you need a new doctor or Neurologist for your husband. It's ludicrous that the one you have does not want to 'yet' deal with the issues the poor man is suffering from! Would she like to wait until he hurts you or himself before she addresses the elephant in the room? Ativan is a drug that helped my mother greatly when she was agitated with dementia in the later stages of disease. Agitation and anxiety are very common with AD, and things can get worse quickly, without warning. PLEASE call 911 if he gets violent, so he can be transported to the ER for a psych evaluation & meds. It's also a ridiculous thing (in my opinion) for a neurologist to suggest a 'communication study program' for the man at this point; what GOOD will that do for either one of you?? You need support which can come from an online group such as this one, from Alz.org and from in person groups that also meet, and/or Zoom meetings that also take place. There is an 800 number to call on the Alz.org site to speak to a live person who can guide you; do so asap.
It's not a good thing that your husband (DH) has the ability to lock himself in any room for any length of time. You should remove the locks from the doors to prevent that from happening in the future. Any number of accidents can happen to him while he's locked alone in a room and you don't want that.
The best thing you can do is to educate yourself about Alzheimer's to better understand what's happening to DH and what lies ahead. I suggest you read this 33 page booklet (which is a free download) which has THE best information ever about managing AD and what to expect with an elder who's been diagnosed with it.
Understanding the Dementia Experience, by Jennifer Ghent-Fuller
https://www.smashwords.com/books/view/210580
Jennifer is a nurse who worked for many years as an educator and counsellor for people with dementia and their families, as well as others in caring roles. She addresses the emotional and grief issues in the contexts in which they arise for families living with Alzheimer's.
The full copy of her book is available here:
https://www.amazon.com/Thoughtful-Dementia-Care-Understanding-Experience/dp/B09WN439CC/ref=sr_1_2?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468364&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-2
She also has published a workbook entitled, “It Isn’t Common Sense: Interacting with People Who Have Memory Loss Due to Dementia.”
https://www.amazon.com/Isnt-Common-Sense-Interacting-Dementia/dp/1481995995/ref=sr_1_4?crid=2E7WWE9X5UFXR&keywords=jennifer+ghent+fuller+books&qid=1657468655&sprefix=jennifer+ghent%2Caps%2C631&sr=8-4
Another good book is The 36 Hour Day (a reference type book), and Living in the Labyrinth: A Personal Journey Through the Maze of Alzheimer's (an autobiography) by Diana Friel McGowin.
Wishing you the best of luck with all you have on your plate.