Follow
Share

I am POA for my Mother, but my brother is POA "in my absence". This seems problematic. What if I'm available by phone, but out of town. What if my brother and I are not in agreement?

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
I agree with Windy above, regarding "in my absence" to mean if you are unable to function as POA due to a serious illness where you can't communicate or death.

lamama, from what you wrote you are the primary POA and will continue to be the primary POA even if you are half way around the world and have communication available.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

The POA would have been better written if it read something like, "if Lamama is unwilling or unable to act...."

In my opinion, especially in all financial matters, your brother would have a very difficult time exercising the DPOA as written. Not sure I'd worry about it.

This doesn't mean, though, that he should be kept in the dark...that you shouldn't ask for his input...that you shouldn't give his position respect...that you shouldn't be transparent.
Helpful Answer (0)
Report

As JessieBelle suggested co-POA's can be tricky sometimes. Someone doesn't pass along information soon enough, someone makes a decision without consulting the other person and you end up with a problem on your hands. My suggestion would be that you keep the lines of communication open and ensure that both parties understand their place as co-POA.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

I doubt that the word ABSENSE means he has control if you don't answer the phone or you are gone for a day. If you die or are totally incapacitated then POA would pass to him.
Helpful Answer (2)
Report

Good Lord, this is timely for me! My brother and I had a huge blow up just this morning over him disagreeing with a medical decision I made on our moms behalf. I am primary DPOA - covers everything - money, medical, miscellaneous etc. my brother is listed as secondary. The language is "If Rainmom shall become unable to serve or to continue to serve as my Agent, then I appoint Ass @&$ brother as successor". Even written as is, brother and I go round after round over things until I finally have enough of trying to get him to act like a reasonable person and say " it's my decision to make." Family dynamics can be so complicated. I am the youngest and the only girl. I was Daddy's little girl until the day my dad died - which my brother always resented. He has been my mothers favorite - which I couldn't care less about. But my brother bullied me relentlessly from childhood until my 20's by which point I only saw him at Christmas. Now that mom is on her way out he is back in my life unfortunately - still trying to bully. Now I'm a grown woman and won't put up with it. Our situation dealing with mom would be intolerable if there wasn't one person clearly in charge. And one of us may yet kill the other before this is over! Good luck to you!
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

Sometimes there is more than one POA. This is fine if everyone is on the same page. Otherwise it can lead to a family feud. From what you write, it sounds like you are the primary and your brother the secondary. Maybe you can work it with your brother to run things by you first if there is something you might question. That will keep any conflicts down and make record-keeping a lot easier.
Helpful Answer (1)
Report

This question has been closed for answers. Ask a New Question.
Ask a Question
Subscribe to
Our Newsletter