I am sole caregiver for mom who has dementia for more than 8 years, I feel horrible for telling my mom you are sh*t. and this is the second time I do that in my life. I just lost my temper. I called mom with this after I spend an hour trying to change her diaper and cloths. all feces on her cloths and diaper. I tried first nicely even I think I was stressed and exhausted. I spent nights sleeping only two to three hours only just to prevent the dirt go outside the bathroom or when I hear something I jump from my bed check on my mom make sure she is okay and did not fall this is going on for months and months. I am so tired and I am fogy. I know this is not an excuse to call mom a name. I do love mom and I feel so horrible. I feel I am really bad ugly daughter. Some time I wish I die for being some time rude to mom. I know God will punish me one day when I get old. Someone much younger than me will treat me hatefully. HATE MYSELF. I pray to God to forgive me. But God will not forgive me each time if I repeat it.
How can I control my temper when I am so tired and fatigue. Mom deserve the best
You must have a break for your sake and your mother's.
Please update us. We want to hear back,
Carol
Many many of us will have that same awful feeling of sometimes cracking and calling our beloved Mom - or other loved one we are caring for - awful, despicable names. We don't mean it - it is just that our loved ones are so difficult sometimes (through no fault of their own, just this damn disease) that we just crack.
The wonderful thing is that our loved ones forget...we don't, and tear ourselves apart with guilt... But blissfully they completely forget, just as they forget and deny they've done or said what made us crack in the first case!
I have no doubt will be merciful to us in our sorrow of not being SUPER carer. He knows what is in our heart and will not chastise us even though we may fall again.
Take heart dear friend. We are all in this together.
Big big hug to you from New Zealand!
Charlotte
Is there someone you can call upon to come and relieve you for a little while? A sibling? An aunt or uncle? Is your mom in a position financially to have some in-home help temporarily while you get away for a while?
None of us can be effective if we're exhausted and burned out. Please look into getting someone to help out so you can get away for a bit. Even for a day. Some nursing homes offer respite care for caregivers where their elderly loved ones go into the facility temporarily (like for a weekend) while the caregiver takes a breather. Please look into this.
You're human, you're exhausted, you're under a lot of stress and you're doing the best you can. Come here and vent. Let it all out and we'll listen and support you.
You can pray all you want.....but somewhere, sometime you need to help your higher power help you by making decisions that will move things forward. Anger depression and fatigue are roommates. Get outside help call the Agency on Aging take act, check out local nursing homes for possible one day at a time care.
You are not going to be canonized for sainthood by sacrificing you health. Guess what if you don't take action you will be lying next to your care receiver...........Get moving
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