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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
Acknowledgment of Disclosures and Authorization
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
Remember, this assessment is not a substitute for professional advice.
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You said five sibs in three states? Has anyone got POA? Is she still in control of her own finances?
I'm 600 miles from my folks and I'm entering this same minefield. They need to be in assited living but are not mentally incompetent yet, as least in the view of any court or judge. But they are no longer able to recognize how bad things are getting. For me and many others it's probably going to take an event or crisis to force the issue. I get a knot in my stomach whenever the phone rings.
NancyH happened with us also. Mom went into a decline and ended up in the hospital 3 times in 6 weeks and we were at her house 24/7 for that time. guess we didn't recognize all the signs of her medical issues. Finally last time in hospital she went to subacute rehab at a great facility. We realized that she needed a lot more medical care than we could provide. She stayed at the facility in the skilled nursing section but she does not like it either. She has declined some more (she is 96) and we now reallize that it is the best thing for her to be there. She has become a little more forgetful and often doesn't realize where she is or thinks she is in her own house. You are right --sometimes a seemingly bad situation can lead to a solution that is an opportunity. But I am sorry that your MIL had to break her hip...hope she is healing well.
We thought we were going to have to blast my mother-in-law out of her house with dynamite. NONE of us wanted to be the one that forced her out. She was adamant about NOT leaving her home. Then what normally would've been a bad thing, turned out to be good thing. She fell and broke her hip! That convinced her that she couldn't live alone anymore, so we scrambled and moved her when she got out of the nursing home/rehab. We had already been looking for places before that, so when we got our window of opportunity, we were ready. She hates it, but she also knows it's the best thing for her. My advice, start looking around, find a place that those of you that are local like, and wait for the opportunity. Who knows, maybe you'll get 'lucky' like we did. ha.
It's hard for us to all sit down together...there are 5 of us in 3 different states. We do discuss it via phone and we are all on the same page that it's time for our Mom's living conditions change.
As mentioned earlier, sometimes an executive decision in the interest of a parent's safety has to be made. However, "success" in moving is measured by "cooperation" and "agreement." More powerful than getting the other to "see" your way is all parties sitting down to share their concerns, hopes, needs, and viewpoints with a skilled facilitator who is neutral, respectful, and concerned, as well as knowledgeable about aging and aging resources, and who will motivate all to find a workable plan. Rabbi Scott Saulson, PhD
Life's critical decisions need to be made by individuals competent to do so. It sounds as if your mother is not competent to do so, and for her safety and well being some other competent individual needs to makec that decision. She may not go without kicking and screaming, but, as in the case of many dementia-related incidents, may forget all about it in a day or two. And you may find, as thousands of others have, that after a few weeks in a care facility, she may be as happy as at home (but in 24/7 care).
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I'm 600 miles from my folks and I'm entering this same minefield. They need to be in assited living but are not mentally incompetent yet, as least in the view of any court or judge. But they are no longer able to recognize how bad things are getting. For me and many others it's probably going to take an event or crisis to force the issue. I get a knot in my stomach whenever the phone rings.
happened with us also. Mom went into a decline and ended up in the hospital 3 times in 6 weeks and we were at her house 24/7 for that time. guess we didn't recognize all the signs of her medical issues. Finally last time in hospital she went to subacute rehab at a great facility. We realized that she needed a lot more medical care than we could provide. She stayed at the facility in the skilled nursing section but she does not like it either. She has declined some more (she is 96) and we now reallize that it is the best thing for her to be there. She has become a little more forgetful and often doesn't realize where she is or thinks she is in her own house.
You are right --sometimes a seemingly bad situation can lead to a solution that is an opportunity. But I am sorry that your MIL had to break her hip...hope she is healing well.
Rabbi Scott Saulson, PhD