I am having a hard time with the loss of the elderly woman I was taking care of. Within a months time she went from just needing some guidance due to her barely being able to see or hear. She could do everything herself, it was like a babysitting job. She had an extremely fast decline in her health, she needed more and more assistance. I spent 3 nights a week 8 hour shifts with this woman taking care of her like my children or how I would take care of my own mother. I loved her family and they loved how good I was to her and how well she responded to me. I spent the last night of her life alone with her holding her hand listening to music my whole shift. The next day she was gone. I am beyond lost and confused about how I feel about everything I experienced in only a month but felt like a year.
Now, to answer your question. It sounds like you are grieving. You bonded with this woman, and now she is gone. It may be bringing up memories of other loved ones you have lost. Or, you just may be missing her and grieving for her. Grief goes away on its on timetable. Be kind to yourself during the grief. If it doesn't start to go away in a month or so, it may be right to get professional counseling. Thank you for being the caregiver all families hope and pray they are able to find.
You suffered a loss just like the family, maybe even more so since you were involved greatly in her care for so many hours each day.
Accept the fact that you helped this woman in the last days of her life and you made her life more comfortable and her passing easier.
If you are close with the family or if you wish to express how you feel write a letter telling them how much you liked caring for this woman and share any memories you have of her.
I am sorry for your loss - and yes, this was a loss to you.