does anyone know of a support group for caregivers in hackensack area new jersey It is so hard to care for my dad who has short term memory and has prostate cancer My mother cant handle his care and creates more problems than help. I feel like im doing everything like cooking, going to the dr, asking questions
Reaching out is vital. Thirty percent or more of the caregivers die before those they care for. Support can make all the difference to the caregiver's health and even survival.
So many times I've felt the same way. Both my parents are requiring more consistent care. My father is beginning to have pretty bad dementia and my mom is failing under the weight of caring for him. I am cooking, cleaning, taking dad to dr appointments, working a full-time job and trying to care for my own home, 11yr old child and still provide for my husbands needs and my own. I'm only 43 and I feel like I'm 80 most days. I seem to take on many of the same ailments my mom contstantly complains of and it irritates me because I don't want to feel this way. I'm sure it's from stress and depression. I am working hard to continue to set boundaries and stick with them. But, it is very good to be involved in a support group and have other people to talk to who are going through similiar situations. It helps encourage when you tell funny stories or hear funny stories and it definitely helps you to not feel alone in this sad journey.
I wish you well from Florida!
As an adult child of aging parents, you might find this organization helpful: Children of Aging Parents at Caps4Caregivers.org.
I know I sound pitiful, always have been strong, I am 51. Feel like a hermit.
This is so sad, and I can relate. When you give of yourself it's only natural to hope that it will be reciprocated when needed. Plus, being married only 5 years probably makes you feel quite shortchanged. What I have found is that people feel akward and really don't know how to help. Reaching out to them and asking specifically for help in certain areas could do the trick. Even the strongest of people have their limits. Speaking with a therapist could be very helpful in getting you through this difficult time. You need a release and a third party could help guide you in many ways.
You are too young to become a hermit from all of this. All caregivers need to make time for themselves to stay sane and strong for those they love. You will likley be around much longer than your husband, so find things you like to do and intersperse them with the time spent helping your husband. When my father-in-law died after a long illness, he turned to my mother-in-law and said, "Maybe now you can have some fun." He loved her completely but knew the toll his illness took on her. He probably would have liked to see her create more time for herself during the caergiving period.
Extra prayers for you.
Not feeling myself today. Will make some calls
Thanks again, God Bless