My dad lives in an Assisted Living, and has an aide with him for 12 hours a day. The costs every month are getting so high, and we are running low on finances. I don't know how to keep up with everything, and he is having more and more episodes where he needs increased care. How do I deal with all of the costs while ensuring my dad has the right care he needs? None of us kids can take him in, and he has no place to go if we cannot afford the Assisted Living.
Is he Medicaid-eligible? It sounds like he needs a higher level of care than AL, so maybe he needs a Nursing Home (NH)?
Most likely he needs to be placed in higher level service, like NH, if he doesn't have the money to self pay, apply for Medicaid.
You shouldn't be paying for this in the first place, it is his responsibility.
Her time there was completely awful. It seemed that about half the residents in her wing were in the same situation. She was left to sit in her own feces because the nurses "were not paid to clean that up". She was covered in crumbs. Her food was not cut up for her. Her like-new Haywood Wakefield bedroom set was damaged from the staff spilling liquids and food on top of it, and the entire space smelled of human waste and trash. Housekeeping -- if there was any -- must have consisted of vacuuming the room she was never in. The only saving grace was that she declined so quickly that she was basically unaware of her surroundings for most of the time she was there, but it was still a few months before my parents finally found a small group home for her where she received 1 on 1 care. Granny died 3 weeks later. Because my mother was her 'caretaker' at the time and I found it too 'uncomfortable' to visit more than a few times (each of which resulted in my placing an emergency call to management because of the state I found her in), I will never forget leaving my own grandmother to spend her last months in that terrible condition.
Beware. Assisted living facilities may well attempt to sell you whatever service level you seem most comfortable paying. While the individual people we spoke to there -- from staff to the manager -- truly seemed to mean well, the low pay and low skill level combined with pressure to profit from their residents placed them in the position of never being able to live up to their promises. You may tell yourself, each time you visit, that it was a one-off, that they were just short staffed "that day". Don't fool yourself. Don't let a family caregiver fool themselves. A caregiver who is exhausted and burned out may not really comprehend the situation for an awfully long time.
I think these places and the financial agreements entered in to with them require open, objective, caring eyes from the family who make the arrangements. I really wish I had stepped as caregiver in place of my mother, who would probably have resisted but appreciated it all the same. Granny would have ended her days in her own cottage with 24 hour care on top of hospice supplemented by our family. It would have been cheaper, and it would have been better for her.
Your Dad needs Longterm Care. Start looking for a nice facility. Then take whatever money he has left, and pay privately. With my Mom she was in an AL and money was running out, she had 20k left. I started the Medicaid application in April. She was placed in LTC May 1st. She paid for May and June. June I confirmed with her Caseworker that they had all info needed and Medicaid started July 1st.
It was extremely expensive, but the only way.
If I wasn't so burnt out from years of caring for him, I would have brought him back home and hired in home care providers. I never had peace-of-mind.
Today, facilities only provide the bare minimum of care. CNA's and nurses are run ragged. These facilities are run for profit and that's the problem.
Seek guidance from an elder care attorney about Medicaid requirements in your state BEFORE dad runs out of money. He can go to a Skilled Nursing Facility under Medicaid when he runs out of money if everything works out.
Wishing you the best of luck.
Memory Care or a Nursing Home can be quite expensive. As others have written, it is time to see if your Dad can qualify for Medicaid [which is different from Medicare]. If your Dad qualifies, Medicaid will pay the bill for nursing home care. Call your State Medicaid office to get the ball rolling.
I live in Florida and I visit what is supposed to be the best assisted living in Florida. It is really, really common for residents to have outside paid caregivers. I see caregivers wearing the smocks of agencies accompanying residents all the time in this assisted living facility in Florida.
You are already paying for 1 caregiver 12 hours per day. It may be cheaper to get an efficiency apartment (standard apartment) and get an overnight caregiver for the other 12 hours.
Get out and tour some nursing homes, (some offer memory care, but THEY will decide if appropriate). Put some applications in , make some calls.
You will need to know all his financials. Generally what happens is he might begin as private pay, then when money is dwindling, you apply for Medicaid. They can help you figure when that is. Once Medicaid is pending, you stop paying the gigantic bill and only pay Net Available Monthly Income.
My mom recently had to leave assisted living because she became a two person assist for transfers. The facility sent out a person to interview her to see if she was appropriate for memory care. After a little rough start, she is thriving there. They have more programs/ activities for her and she is getting the care she needs…Not just sitting in front of the TV.