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I know that its hard when mama and daddy got to getting older. My daddy passed away 2 years ago and my only brother doesn't talk to mama but they have never had a very good relationship. But now I been having chest pains and I finally it's been about 4 years and I don't have any help at all. But my mother talks to me now while she is actually hurting me and tells me she knows she is hurting me. I thought at first she was doing it for attention but I don't know if this sounds crazy but I don't know how far she would go thinking she might get my brother to come around if I was dead and gone and I know that may sound insane or to me it does but there is something that is telling me she is doing that. I don't know what to do. Could someone please give me advice please.

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You need to get Mom to a neurologist who can test her for a Dementia. If that cannot be done, then make a list of how Mom is. What you see on a daily bases. Ask her Dr. that labs be done and a good physical. Tell them that she threatens you.

Mom is really not that old. Does she have a health problem that she needs care for? Since Mom lives with you and if this is situation is causing you health problems, maybe its time for Mom to find a place of her own. She should be getting Social Security. There maybe Senior housing near you that charge rent on scale.

You can't continue this way. Your Moms thinking isn't rational. If she becomes violent call the police and have her removed from your home saying she is a threat to you. They may put her under 72 hr Psychic watch. Do not allow them to try and return her to ur home. Tell them u feel threatened. If u need to, allow the State to become her guardian. Yes, u will not be able to have any input in her care but she will get what she needs faster than u can.
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This situation sounds like you are being abused by your mother.

You are a vulnerable adult.
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You need to have an actual doctor give her an actual cognitive exam, and maybe also test her for a UTI. Then you will know what you're dealing with. She is either mentally ill or has dementia. You "testing" her means nothing. Either way you need to protect your own self and health, so you will need to make some tough decisions now. She won't get better on her own and she won't be there to help you (nor will your brother be there) so you need to advocate for yourself. If the plane is taking a nose-dive you need to put on YOUR oxygen mask first before you can help your mother. Many have been in your situation so please take their well-seasoned advice and wisdom. I wish you all the best as you move forward!
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I don’t understand exactly what you are saying but I can tell that your mom is causing enormous stress for you.

Forget your brother. He isn’t in the picture and it isn’t your responsibility to bring him into the picture. Don’t allow your mom to place that burden on you. In fact do not allow her manipulate you about anything.

What exactly are her health issues? What do you feel can help her? Not what she wants but what she needs.

Needs and wants are two different things. I’m talking about what do you feel she needs to improve her quality of life. Start there. Don’t let her intervene with nonsense. She doesn’t have the right to abuse you in any way.
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I'm not sure what you're saying here, "but my mother talks to me now while she is actually hurting me and tells me she knows she is hurting me ..." If your mother is physically hurting you, then you need to call 911 and have her taken to the ER for evaluation. She may be suffering from dementia or Alzheimer's and that's why she's hurting you.

If she's hurting you in an effort to get your brother to come around, and you think she may even kill you, then FOR SURE call 911 the next time this happens! She needs a good exam by a competent doctor to see what's going on here, BEFORE she does irreparable harm to you.

Listen........just because she's your mother does NOT give her the right to hurt you! In fact, no mother in her right mind knowingly hurts her own daughter. Which is why I believe your mother is probably NOT in her right mind!

Good luck!
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loriann13 Feb 2020
Thank u. I'm sorry I can't seem to really get that into words but yes i believe she wants to talk me into hurting myself worse than anything ....i thought it was aging or missing my brother n not wanting to admit it.. But i have had ways ive checked her memory n it is fine and the doctor cant find nothing. Wrong and i really dont completely understand if there is dementia or Alzheimer's that doctors cant see ....but she actually had written down that if she had to hurt someone to make my brother feel bad for her she would she doesnt know we seen her journal ....she has been calling react and playing sick n it isn't gonna make him come around my mother but I hate that for her but like yu said I cant imagine hurting one of my kids
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