And if they insist anyway and their doctor will not tell them that? Mother is 91. Has had two minor strokes. One foot is in a brace. She walks with a walker. Very slowly. Has no balance. Has a tendency to take off without the walker several times during the day. Scarey to see.
Mom is diabetic and fell in April apparently due to dizziness and badly injured her left shoulder. Complete recovery is not possible but she is doing well. Pain is involved and she babies her left hand a lot. $ for therapy are running out.
She is in assisted living temporarily due to carpal tunnel surgery on her right hand which she insisted on having. That is coming along well. Without any way of keeping her there, she will probably be back in her home alone at the end of Sept.. I cannot keep running back and forth from my home 3 hours away.
Mom had a mastectomy last year and just finished the intravenous part of hormone therapy. She takes 8 different pills a day and on her own she forgets half of them usually. Or on occasion drops them as she gets her water.
Mom also had a stent put in in order to have the cancer surgery.
She's a tough cookie. And so extremely determined to do everything herself which would be laudable if her judgement were still good. But it is not. She has nearly to no short term memory , very poor hearing (she won't wear her hearing aid), doesn't understand all the crackpot phone calls she receives, and outside of noon meal program she usually attends, she has no other social life.
There is no easy way and I won't lie to her. Mother has VERY selective memory; it surprises me just HOW SELECTIVE. Being married to the same woman for THIRTY-TWO years and not remembering there are FOUR adult grandsons; yet the faucet in the bathroom is in need of replacing ...... blows my mind.
Like so many of us here ask, 'when is it time to find "A Place for Mom"? Then there is the other all important; 'How do we pay for the care needed?' Funding is an issue for most of us, or so I believe, while the level of care is not always what we would like it to be.
So here I set in Michigan and wonder what to do and more importantly when. I have told Mother that "I be back and you will get no 'heads-up' as to when, so you know (not so much w/her Dementia) what I expect." Mother says, 'Why are coming here? You don't need to come here.'
This may be the toughest lesson we shall face in our lifetime. BUT, by the grace of GOD and loving care with understanding and people, such as are here, the journey won't be quite so rough.