Cutting my spouse's nails.

Podiatrist is best - they cut real low so you don’t have to do often and Medicare maY cover

File them instead. I was clipping my mother’s nails & if she gets agitated & suddenly pulls them away, I accidentally cut skin & bleeds. So safer to file. For toes, use podiatrist. They can come to house. Hugs 🤗

Billspirit: Use a professional for this, e.g. perhaps you can locate a salon who may cater to an elder with dementia.

Our local Senior Centers have specially trained people who only cut toenails. I take my dh in every 6 - 8 weeks to have his trimmed. They wash, soak, trim and massage his feet and check for calluses and other sores. They use an antiseptic frequently as they are working. There is a charge of $35.

Use a nail file. Wife had Alzheimer's and would not let me cut her fingernails, toe nails OK. Let me use nail file which solved problem.

Don't! There are folks for hire who are really good at this and chances are your efforts might hurt her.

I find this cutter is very easy to use

EZ Grip 360 Degree Rotary Stainless Steel Sharp Blade Fingernail Toenail Clipper, Trimmer and Cutter https://a.co/d/1PsTbwQ

HELLO. YOU ARE CORRECT ABOUT LONG SHARP CRACKED NAILS. WILL BECOME AN ISSUE IF MOM OR DAD SCRATCHES THEMSELF AT ANY TIME.
I AM A MOBILE FOOT/NAIL CARE PROFESSIONAL IN ATLANTA. CHECK WEBSITE TO SEE IF THERE IS A MOBILE SPECIALIST IN YOUR AREA. HOUSECALLS(PRIVATE PAY SERVICE) ARE A LARGE PART OF MY PROTOCOL BECAUSE GETTING TO A SPA WITH A DISABLED INDIVIDUAL IS SOMETIMES IMPOSSIBLE.
WEBSITE: AFCN (ASSOCIATION FOOT CARE NURSES) HAS A LIST BY STATE.
BEST REGARDS,
SHIRLEY R.
FCN RN

If she gets a deluxe manicure in a clean spa she will love it. Take her outside the busy times, so it is relaxing and doesn’t feel rushed or chaotic. Offer an extra tip to the technician for a lengthened hand massage or other amenities.

Try gently filing if she refuses to go out and is reluctant to allow you to cut. Create a home spa with music, calming fragrances, a facial or foot spa.

My dads insurance paid for foot care with a podiatrist for his toenails. Perhaps if she sees this is a medically necessary thing for her at a doctors office she won’t resist. They put him in a chair they could raise and lower and used a Dremel tool to help shape them. Completely painless.

My husband wasn't diabetic, so I'd "bribe" him w/candy if he'd let me trim his fingernails and toenails when he couldn't do it for himself any longer. Once he needed long-term care, I didn't sign up for podiatry services. Why make Medicare pay for something I was perfectly capable of doing?

I made a game of it. Filling the bowl full of warm water to soften my Moms nails then added bubbles. We have a ball her building bubble mountain an I cutting her nails while her mind was focus on bubbles. At the stage she’s in now I just cut them carefully no fuss which we could build the build the bubbles again

I have found a drummel to be the safest, easiest way to keep my aunt's nail trimmed. No rough edges and no chance of cutting her. I found an inexpensive one at Amazon. She sits in her recliner and I sit in front of her on a folding chair.

I would get a podiatrist visit for the toenails - if on Hospice they will set one up to automatically come out every 9 weeks. This is important because any cut, even a tiny one, can cause big issues. My Mom’s podiatrist also emphasizes to contact him if any problems with her feet occur. For those not on Hospice, Medicare still covers every 9 weeks, you just have to call around to find a traveling Podiatrist. Fingernails I’m not sure about.

You can also soften toenails overnight using urea gel--does not require a prescription. I use it on myself.

Perhaps she needs a podiatrist visit.
They will clip her nails during the visit.

And, it likely couldn't hurt to get a podiatrist exam.

Gena / Touch Matters

Call a beauty shop and ask for a home visit if wife doesn't get out of the house anymore. There are some who will come and wash and/or fix the hair and could handle the nail trims too.

Toe nails are another issue - must be careful with the feet to avoid cuts or infections. If you don't already have it, ask dr to order home health to come. Medicare pays for weekly nurse visit who can do several things for her - blood draws if ordered, urine testing if possible she has bladder infection going on, etc. Physical therapy and occupational therapy to maintain strength in upper and lower body. They can even send a Podiatrist to your house to do toenail trims quarterly and examine foot health.

I kept up with my Mom's nails with a nail file/emery board only. She had paid for podiatry care, but to keep up with her nails, I found a file to be safest to avoid the possibility of injury.

Sometimes just bringing out the file or other times, doing the whole manicure/pedicare treatment with soaking,...job. It was a great time to chat with her.

We did this even in her AL facility too.

Medicare covers for a podiatrist to cut toenails every ten weeks. Not fingernails.

If her nails, especially toenails are tough you can get a little handheld dremmel to file them down or just take her to a podiatrist. Sometimes Medicare will cover it.

I cut my dad's nails by just holding his hand and chatting while I do it. I've found that a larger toenail clipper works better than a little fingernail clipper. It looks just like a fingernail clipper only it's bigger and stronger for his tough nails, plus it cuts a slightly wider swath so it takes fewer clips. I don't do them very short and then I give him an emery board to smooth them. He enjoys using the emery board. If you do it after a shower or after a good hand washing you'll find that the nails are a little softer and easier. My dad is afraid of being cut and will pull his hand away. I always try to pull the finger back a bit from the nail and hold his skin back from the nail to assure I don't accidentally cut him. So far we've been successful.

You cut them like you would cut your own nails. I cut my late husbands finger and toe nails any time they needed it. It wasn't hard.
Now he didn't always like for me to do them, but I carefully cut them only when needed.
His hospice nurse told me what a good job I did on them.
Like Grandma1954 said below, if you can soak them first it will make it easier, but when my husband became bedridden I couldn't do that and just had to cut them carefully.

Cut nails right after a shower. The nails are softer then
Your other option is to cut them while she is asleep.
Sometimes cutting them is easier if you are doing it when you are giving her a little "massage" use a lotion and as you rub it on her arms and hands cutting the nails might be easier.