Not just at night all the time. When he walks with his walker with me right beside him, He watches each step he makes and holds on to the walker with a death grip. Its almost impossible to get him in the tub or the car. And when I try to undress him ,he acts like I'm hurting him. When I ask him if that hurt he says "no". He does it with the lady I have coming in 1 day a week also. He's never fallen or been hurt and he wasn't afraid of anything when he was younger. I accidentally barely stepped on his toe the other day and you would have thought I killed him. Does any one else have these issues. It's making me crazy.
thank-you Linda
Also deal with the "you're hurting me", no matter what care activity is taking place - changing clothes, washing, applying lotion. And all of those things are done with the greatest of gentle care. Some days it is unbearably unnerving and agitating to hear that lament (always in the back of my mind wondering how many caregivers throughout time may have been wrongfully accused of elder abuse!); other days when I am perhaps more fortified by prayer, I am able to face it with compassion and gently soothe while not exactly ignoring it, but allowing it to roll off my shoulders (not take it personally or let it agitate me). Because, as I'm sure others have found, letting their agitation cause you agitation just creates a vicious cycle of agitation feeding agitation! And at some point you have to realize that the one with dementia does not have the power to stop that cycle.
Once again, for what it's worth, it is comforting to hear others describe in detail some of the heartbreaking scenarios I deal with on a daily basis. That has happened enough on this site that I am now able to realize pretty much every oddity I encounter - even when it is new to me and I have never heard it mentioned before - I will be able to find another account of it on agingcare.com. This site is a great resource for information, encouragement, and support.
female can prevent them from falling during transfers bathing or assistance. Maybe a male assistant might help the situation.
Please know that there are Senior Behavioral Clinics that specialize in this treatment. They only need about ten days to work with the patient to "perfect" the medication. It change our lives dramatically for the better and, after insurance, cost only $1,000. Well, worth the money.
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