social event. even though she will tell you she would love to attend when you go to pick her up she will be in bed and dad saying she has a sore throat and cant go anywhere. she has recently seen her dr. and has a clean bill of physical health. How can we keep him from convincing her she is sick. they live in an apartment and have been married for 60+ years.Mom enjoys her self tremendously when she is out. Help
Do you have any idea why your father is doing this? What has their relationship been over these 60 years?
Is he being deliberately abusive?
Does he tend to be controlling? Has he always made the decisions?
Does he honestly think this is best for his wife?
Is he embarrassed to have her behavior seen in public?
If you can figure out where this behavior is coming from, perhaps that will be a clue about how to stop it. For example, if he thinks this is good for her, perhaps having the doctor or a social worker explain the effects of isolation would help. If he is embarrassed, maybe getting a pastor or priest (if they have one) to reassure him would help. Maybe a good friend or someone he respects (a golf buddy, his banker, whomever) could be useful.
The time may come when Mother really won't be able to function at and enjoy social activities. I hope you can find a gentle way to get Dad to change his approach so she can enjoy herself as long as she can.