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Who are you caring for?
Which best describes their mobility?
How well are they maintaining their hygiene?
How are they managing their medications?
Does their living environment pose any safety concerns?
Fall risks, spoiled food, or other threats to wellbeing
Are they experiencing any memory loss?
Which best describes your loved one's social life?
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By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington. Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services. APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid. We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour. APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment. You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints. Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights. APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.I agree that: A.I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information"). B.APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink. C.APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site. D.If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records. E.This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year. F.You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
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Mostly Independent
Your loved one may not require home care or assisted living services at this time. However, continue to monitor their condition for changes and consider occasional in-home care services for help as needed.
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Use those wipes that one package gives a whole bath and leaves your skin soft and fresh smelling. You only have to undress the part that's being bathed and they don't have to feel cold or scared they are going to fall. No fighting them to bathe. And an easy fix. I've used Comfort Bath Wipes myself wile waiting for the heater in my bathroom to be fix. There are many different brands out there and they aren't that expensive.
That was going to be my suggestion also. They can use wipes. I did this for mom and I do it for dad now. I use a basin like hospice did for my mom at the end. Every 2 weeks I give him sponge baths on his upper body with a wash cloth and soap. Daily we use the wipes. For dads feet I soak them in vinegar and warm water. He loved the foot soak. My dad has mobility issues.
I have a friend whose dad was in AL, and he, too, wouldn't shower. Turned out he was afraid of falling and didn't want to fall unnoticed, so she'd come over and sit in his room while he showered. Problem solved. I think falling is the #1 reason older people fear showers, along with the shock of getting blasted by cold water (my mother's supposed fear). Chairs, bars, and supervision are the best things to try.
My my ex-husband's grandfather refused to take showers in the nursing home where he resided. When I saw where he was given a shower, I didn't blame him at all! A totally tiled bathroom and it was freezing in there. When I got a small heater for that room and they heated it for a few minutes before he went in, he was fine. Maybe you could check it out sweetie!
My mother, (in memory care now) was afraid to take a shower. I think she was afraid to get behind the shower curtain. She was afraid of windows, and always thought that there was someone on the other side. However; she wouldn't have been able to verbalize her fear of the shower.
Is your father able to figure out the steps to even give himself a shower? With dementia, multiple steps are almost too hard to allow the person to get an activity done.
Knowing more about your father's specific memory issues might help.
Is there anything at the ALF that your dad likes to do? Play bingo? Go to the dining room for dinner? Make those things contingent on having a shower first and let everyone know. It could even be posted in large print where he’ll see it.
I agree that the problem is not yours to solve and shower shoes or chair might help. Talk to you’d father. Is the water too hot or cold? Would he rather shower alone or have help? Is he afraid of falling? Is he trying to get kicked out? He might tell you what’s happening.
This is how I look at it. This is a problem they need to solve. The staff should know how to work around the problem. My daughter says to make them think that they are making the decision. "Mr. S wouldn't it be nice to get all clean and fresh and put clean clothes on." To get my Mom to do something when she got stubborn, the CNAs told her they were calling her daughter. My Mom then did what they asked.
I would ask what do they think you can do about it? What would they do if there was no family to call?
By proceeding, I agree that I understand the following disclosures:
I. How We Work in Washington.
Based on your preferences, we provide you with information about one or more of our contracted senior living providers ("Participating Communities") and provide your Senior Living Care Information to Participating Communities. The Participating Communities may contact you directly regarding their services.
APFM does not endorse or recommend any provider. It is your sole responsibility to select the appropriate care for yourself or your loved one. We work with both you and the Participating Communities in your search. We do not permit our Advisors to have an ownership interest in Participating Communities.
II. How We Are Paid.
We do not charge you any fee – we are paid by the Participating Communities. Some Participating Communities pay us a percentage of the first month's standard rate for the rent and care services you select. We invoice these fees after the senior moves in.
III. When We Tour.
APFM tours certain Participating Communities in Washington (typically more in metropolitan areas than in rural areas.) During the 12 month period prior to December 31, 2017, we toured 86.2% of Participating Communities with capacity for 20 or more residents.
IV. No Obligation or Commitment.
You have no obligation to use or to continue to use our services. Because you pay no fee to us, you will never need to ask for a refund.
V. Complaints.
Please contact our Family Feedback Line at (866) 584-7340 or ConsumerFeedback@aplaceformom.com to report any complaint. Consumers have many avenues to address a dispute with any referral service company, including the right to file a complaint with the Attorney General's office at: Consumer Protection Division, 800 5th Avenue, Ste. 2000, Seattle, 98104 or 800-551-4636.
VI. No Waiver of Your Rights.
APFM does not (and may not) require or even ask consumers seeking senior housing or care services in Washington State to sign waivers of liability for losses of personal property or injury or to sign waivers of any rights established under law.
I agree that:
A.
I authorize A Place For Mom ("APFM") to collect certain personal and contact detail information, as well as relevant health care information about me or from me about the senior family member or relative I am assisting ("Senior Living Care Information").
B.
APFM may provide information to me electronically. My electronic signature on agreements and documents has the same effect as if I signed them in ink.
C.
APFM may send all communications to me electronically via e-mail or by access to an APFM web site.
D.
If I want a paper copy, I can print a copy of the Disclosures or download the Disclosures for my records.
E.
This E-Sign Acknowledgement and Authorization applies to these Disclosures and all future Disclosures related to APFM's services, unless I revoke my authorization. You may revoke this authorization in writing at any time (except where we have already disclosed information before receiving your revocation.) This authorization will expire after one year.
F.
You consent to APFM's reaching out to you using a phone system than can auto-dial numbers (we miss rotary phones, too!), but this consent is not required to use our service.
I think falling is the #1 reason older people fear showers, along with the shock of getting blasted by cold water (my mother's supposed fear). Chairs, bars, and supervision are the best things to try.
My mother, (in memory care now) was afraid to take a shower. I think she was afraid to get behind the shower curtain. She was afraid of windows, and always thought that there was someone on the other side. However; she wouldn't have been able to verbalize her fear of the shower.
Is your father able to figure out the steps to even give himself a shower? With dementia, multiple steps are almost too hard to allow the person to get an activity done.
Knowing more about your father's specific memory issues might help.
I agree that the problem is not yours to solve and shower shoes or chair might help. Talk to you’d father. Is the water too hot or cold? Would he rather shower alone or have help? Is he afraid of falling? Is he trying to get kicked out? He might tell you what’s happening.
Good luck!
We have a poster on here, (Lealonnie) that has a mom living in assisted living.
I can tell you about something she did to help her mom bathe in her facility.
I personally think it’s a brilliant idea and worked well as a solution for her.
She purchased water shoes for the shower. I can definitely see how this would make a resident feel more secure in the shower.
By the way, are they using a shower seat? My mom definitely needed a shower seat.
I hope Lealonnie sees your posting and she can tell you specifically what kind of water shoes she purchased for her mom.
Best wishes to you.
I would ask what do they think you can do about it? What would they do if there was no family to call?
This is showering strategy
#101.