Most of his fathers brothers and sisters suffered from Alzheimer's including his father. Its been a tough 8 months since mom died and I moved him far from home. Its just the little things and he told me last night he is having issues remembering things and names. Is it stress or something greater? I saw it start slowly with my grandfather. How do I go about getting him checked. I have an appointment for a full physical with my Dr. here. I have to find him a cardio and dermatologist and ortho dr yet. Its only been a few weeks an I am already getting burnout (8 months really). Also he is already planning an 8 hour drive to go back home to visit. He is planning fishing trips for me an him ( I have to work) and I already have a 8 day trip planned for us to go fishing on the other side of the country. This is my big vacation for the summer. I haven't even planned one for my wife and I yet. Whooo boy I am fried. Am I just making too much of this? The forgetting issue that is. Sorry went on a tangent.
So, the decision had to be made quickly to get her back to IL. Even though she was in a nursing home, there, her demeanor returned to normal. (She had never known anything but IL.)
Big changes are awful for anyone. Add losing your spouse and it is a recipe for disaster.
Sorry you have so much on your plate. You don't say how old your father is, but as a geriatrician I'd say if he tells you he's having trouble with remembering things, it certainly could be the very earliest stages of something like Alzheimer's.
That said, whether or not he has the beginnings of Alzheimer's, everyone's thinking can be worse when affected by stress, depression, insomnia, medication side-effects (esp sleeping meds but there are others), thyroid problems, low B12, and a few others. A doctor's visit can help you check on those, although many docs don't notice the problem meds unless you ask "could this make thinking worse?"
Otherwise, the Alzheimer's Assoc has an AD-8 informant interview that highlights what you can look out for:
http://www.alz.org/documents_custom/ad8.pdf
Also, NYT just had a story about a "take-it-yourself" memory test. If your dad is worried, he could try taking it.
Good luck!
Think of it this way, some people fall asleep with the TV on in the bedroom, it's like a giant night light :)
Maybe dementia is the body's way of coping with stress that's just too much to deal with. I wonder if the folks in some countries who live up to 100 and past deal with dementia as well. Just thinking...
Both my father and mother had, or have dementia. What I hoped for both was their minds held out as long as their bodies. It worked out that way for my father, who kept his reasoning ability to the end, though he had some very troubling effects from the damage (compulsive catalog shopping, neglecting hygiene). My mother is just the opposite. Her reasoning ability is almost gone, though she still manages to take good care of herself physically. It is hard to predict what will happen on down the road, but I've learned that it is going to happen no matter how worried I am. So I TRY not to worry about the things I can't control. I have to admit that it is easier said than done.
Probably the most important thing I've learned in the last few years with my parents is to look for happiness even when the world around us seems so chaotic. We can only take a day at a time when there is dementia. It helps if we have a good doctor to share the burden.
Besides looking at gardening magazines, exercising and listening to music, I force myself to think not in terms of what has to be done that day, but on a zero-based priority level. Start with nothing besides the basics: eating, drinking, etc. Then gradually add 1 task at a time.
It's a variation of zero-based budgeting and planning - and it becomes easier to realize that not all of the things that seem so necessary are really immediate priorities. It's also a sense of planning on a more business-like level.
Balance medical appointments with vacations, even mini vacations. Perhaps you could take shorter vacations with your father so you still have time for your wife. These vacations are probably just as important to the health of all of you as seeing the doctors!
If the medical appointments that are priority start wearing you both down, plan a short outing afterward to recharge your spirits. Go to a dog park, get a dairy queen, ice cream cone, or just go for a walk or ride. Turn them into a reward to balance out the inconvenience and tedium of medical appointments.
As to memory loss, it happens even to younger people but it gets more attention in older folks. And sometimes the more you worry about it, the more easily you forget.
Just try to ease into this new situation gradually or it can be overwhelming. And set aside time each day to enjoy your father and your family - no medical, political or financial talk. No tv or computer work. Just relax and smell the flowers.
As far as the memory loss, when he goes to the dr appt, ask the dr about having some testing done for him. They can tell how advanced any dimentia or alzheimers is.
Also, remember that you are not alone in this. One of my problems ws thinking that i ws the only one in the world that had these feelings, but as you talk about it to others, you will realize how normal your feelings are.
God Bless You and your family.
Stress will also cause us to have minor memory problems. Moving to a new home and new area isn't easy, no matter what the age. And now your Dad needs to acquaint himself with all new doctors. Instead of using your doctor, maybe a geriatric doctor would be better if there is one in your area, they specialize in senior health care.