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Dad has been on Hospice since 7th at a Group Home. 3 little old ladies there 2, an Dad. He is 230lbs (well now prob 220). Bedridden since 25 at their apartment and failing health. So decided group home cause we all hate NH and money situation. Medicaid out of question. Penalties. So I went prior to quiz group home. They had a room. I told manager about Dad. His size an he was bedridden and prob needed two people there at all times. I thought CNA's and was told some CNA's. And a Med tech. And that Hospice would be coming in. So everything I was told seemed it would work.


Now, I was going on 2 wks of no sleep from caring for Dad in their apartment bedridden and voiding multiple times at night with urinal. Just miserable for him and embarrassing. So we move over the 7th. Nightmare. They knew we were coming. Not ready for us and orders not clear nor meds. Weekend intake. So weekend hospice nurse. Dad not getting proper care. Orders getting mixed up or neely willy and I'm catching them and calling owner and always excuses from her and staff.


Staff not trained to handle bedridden pt or chg bedding. Not trained in Insulin and sugar taking an Lantus pens. I was told inservice would be done. I've had to show 3 diff " sitters basically Im finding out" how to use Dads machine and give shots. Hydrocodone was on 6 hr scheduled but somehow someone decided prn and if he asks for it! Mom and I told staff thats not rt. So he went fr 10 pm till 4 pm next day without hydrocodone and was in very snippity mood. Being bedridden hurts. Dad has wierd reactions to high morphine (mental) an haldol an ativan. Then not getting turned properly I know. Ive been in med field for yrs. No floating heels. Feet slammed against foot board etc..its ticking me off im having to look over their shoulder all time an its been 7 days now.


Ud figure they know by now. Insulin testing time got screwed up Fri. Aid didnt write sugar nor that she give insulin. Then tonight he got alot of reg lemonade. ( now Dad was non-compliant diabetic an everything an was on hivh doses of Lantus an Novalog) but since bedridden freq low sugars. So Novalog stopped. Lantis slowly lowered to 25 units in am an pm if sugar under 150. Well its been ok since Thurs when a ton of applejuice an lemonade being given an he not eating regular or much at times. Today barely ate. Then lemonade while I was gone a bit. Go back and Dad talking funny. Almost slurring. Sugar tried to be checked. Dad went whako. Delirium fr high sugar 300! Finally got sugar taken. Did didnt know how to work Dads meter. I had to do it. Then Lantus was predialed but only to 24 not 25 like ordered. Dad really mad whako by now even at me. Yelling fighting. Hospice Nurse happen to be there an witnessed alot. Helped hold him down while I quickly jabbed (had to. Only seconds i had) lantus pen an inject. Just one thing after another wrong with care fr home. I dont want want to move him. Who would pay for that and he would go to semi crummy NH. If staff was trained liked told or inserviced there wouldn't ve pribs provably. Not our fault. Ive been in contact with owner several times. She obviously to me isnt keeping up with pt orders nor training staff. Hospice nurse suggested Social worker come in an meet. But I dont want Dad moved I cant take it at this point. No sleep. UTI. Mom upset. Sister fighting with me. If we alm could get on track. An we already pd 4,900$!! I just want orders straighted out an followed an 2 people there an be able to visit Dad in his last wks not look over all staff shoulders wondering if their lying an doing job turning. Im there pretty much all day except maybe gone 2 hrs . Ombudsmen? Can home kick us out an blame us? For their incompetence? Money is a issue. An I think move will ve bad an who paying for move? If dad cabt get into wheel chair prob? Im about to drive over a bridge. Seriously

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" An medicaid out cause we went to elder lawyer before Dad was bedridden an 1 yr penalties."

What does this mean? Did Dad gift money to someone? Have you talked to them about repaying?

Dad needs SKILLED nursing care. Not sitters.
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Lynn, I'm so sorry for your dilemma -- I sprained my brain just reading it all. It sounds like financially you need to keep him in GH as there aren't any other options. I'm not that familiar with a group home scenario, but I'm assuming you signed a contract with them? Maybe review the contract to see where they may be falling short legally or medically before you contact an ombudsman to discuss their incompetence and if there's any recourse. Not sure what pressures the ombudsman can exert and how long that will take. Keep a journal of all the failures and mistakes (dates, times, persons, etc) so that you can refer to it when discussing issues. Concurrently you need to help yourself. This may require that you come to grips with the fact that no one will take care of your dad just like you did. Of course this doesn't mean incompetent care, but maybe some lowered expectations/standards? The GH staff won't ever be perfect, your dad's care won't be perfect, his health won't be perfect...I don't see any other options for you at this point. You've done yeoman's work till now for your dad and should feel good about that. I hope this week goes better for all involved and that contacting the ombudsman will be fruitful. Wishing you peace in your heart.
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I'm sorry Lynn, it sounds like the care in Texas is different than Connecticut. That sounds like a nightmare and I don't have a good solution. That's an awful lot of money to put out for what seems like inadequate care. Hopefully someone else here can provide good advice.
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Sounds like a big convoluted mess. Wish I could offer constructive advice but I'm confused. What type of home is this? I'm not familiar with "group home". What have you paid all that money for? What state do you live in? You say money is an issue but you've paid $4900? Why did you pay? Or did your father pay? Who's paying now? I don't understand, just let the state take over, get the Social Worker involved.
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Lynn105 Sep 2019
We cannot physically care for Dad at home. Texas. Hospice does not do custodial care or I mean rolling him every 2 - 4 hrs (220lbs dead wt), they dont stay 24/7 with a hospice pt. Irs up to family to provide care or go to a facility an we pay room an board. Hospice does not chg dirty briefs . Dad is bedridden. I cannot do it. Im 5'3 an 120lbs. Mom is 84. She cant either. Hospice only provides supplies, meds that cover the dx like Congestive heart failure (my dads dx) , wheelchair, potty side chair, pads , underwear a nurse visits 2-3 wk to do vitals not actual pt care. They provide bath aides 2x a wk an chg bedding an underwear . But rest is up to family. Rolling. Chg underwear. Feed. Drink. Keep clean etc 24/7. So Mom has 30,000$ left an this happened suddenly an we tried to do it on our own but we cant. So found a Group Home. Irs like a real house with 5 or 4 bedrooms an only that many pts. Not a NH. We thought more one on one care than at NH where its 8 pts per cna. An stinky. An staff an C-Diff at NH. We pd 500 deposit then interviewed again an pd for the room 4,400$. Hospice comes in an does their thing an Group Home replaces what we were doing (suppose to!) An we sit with Dad fr 8-8pm. So Mom has to watch her money left. She still in apartment with their secondary insurance etc. . We dont want to move to the nasty NH an dish out 4,700$ an poss even worse care an bscteria like that. Ive been in med field since 18 but quit 7 yrs ago to caregive for parents. Dad has deteriorated since a tr ago then Aug 25th could no longer walk. 2 ER trips an no knows why. Bedridden. To big. All that discussed with owner. They are watch by Tx HHS an an Ombudsmen could be called to come in an protect pt an get care figured out or social worker with Hospice. But I just dont want kicked out due to #1 pissing off owner an she makes up a reason or # 2 they say they cant care for him which they can. They are not following hospuce orders sometimes an some staff just sitters an not trained. If we could all sit down an all b on same page,with all staff of house that would work. But owner will prob b pissed. She seems mad thst Im catching stuff cause their use to little 80 lb ol ladies. Texas. Mom needs money to. An medicaid out cause we went to elder lawyer before Dad was bedridden an 1 yr penalties.
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